The Kind of Girl Who … gets up in other people's bidness

NTKOG #14: The kind of girl who, walking on the street, sees someone engaged in an interesting solo activity and decides to make it a group effort.

I am: a very self-involved pedestrian. When I stroll about the city streets, I try to keep eye contact to a minimum, lest others realize I am thinking about them as much as I am.

I am not: crazy-ballsy, and certainly not prone to horning in on other people’s conversations, dilemmas, or — in this case — esoteric work-related tasks.

The Scene: Walking to my sister’s house for dinner and a night of make-you-dumber television, I passed a cool old-fashioned theatre, in front of which an employee was busy taking down a title from a retro manual marquee. I’d never seen this before, and always assumed that some employee sneaked up on a ladder in the dead of night to take down the old titles and put the new ones up. Not so!

Instead, the guy (cute but dead eyes; seems like a texter and not a reader on the T, and thus totally not my type) was holding a fifteen-foot aluminium pole with a deadly suction cup at the top and thwacking letters one at a time to take them down, then tossing them into a pile at his feet.

As I approached, I watched him remove the “FICE” from “OFFICE SPACE MIDNIGHT SHOWING,” then slowed as I came up to him.

TKOG: Is that hard?
Pole Wielder: Guh?
TKOG: Taking down the letters. Is it hard?
PW: No.
TKOG: Like, that’s a big pole. Did you have to get special training before you could do this?
PW: Uh, I guess not.
TKOG: Can I do one?!

He shot me a slow look of amused disdain, then a pretty girl jumped out of a car on the curb and asked him a question about a mutual, I’m guessing, co-employee. I was prepared to put my earbuds back in and admit defeat, when he glanced back at me. Fate!

TKOG: Can I do one? It looks like fun.
PW: Sure, I guess so. Just … don’t hit anyone, okay? You have to hit them kind of hard.

He handed me the pole and on my first shot, I smacked the side of the billboard — way off-center — with all of my might before I noticed the suction cup was facing the wrong way. Before he could rethink his decision, I went in for my second attempt with, if I may brag, remarkable form.

Turns out the hardest part of the task is subsequently getting the pole horizontal enough to remove the letter without hitting anyone (or any inconveniently street-parked gold Volvos with Connecticut plates…) Then I thanked him and continued my walk. A pair of middle-aged Starbucks customers stood on the other side of the street squinting toward us. I choose to believe this is because they were just so bummed to miss Office Space on the big screen.

The Verdict: Dude! I am now a semi-pro marquee changer! All it cost was about six seconds of my time and a couple of weird looks! I was grinning to the point of practically whistling on the rest of the walk. Turns out if you want to do something, all you have to do is ask. The worst that can happen is someone will say no. Or you will blindside a Volvo.

Also, to any of you passing the old theatre in Coolidge Corner: note the lack of an “S” on the marquee. I did that! Me!