NTKOG Follow-up: The kind of tireless social crusader who, undaunted by her UTTER failure to get loud-music earbud wearers to turn down their friggin’ music, reloads her arsenal with new techniques.
I am: a couple of weeks away from making headlines. “Four high schoolers bludgeoned in brutal seriously-are-your-earbuds-even-plugged-in?! train beating.” Contact me for the exclusive interview.
I am not: exaggerating.
The Methodology: I was prepared, after my last failure, to give up on trying to make the T a soothing environment, but your comments spurred me on, my cherished advocates for social change. We don’t have to listen to other people’s music! We should be allowed to read in peace on the damn train! I AM TAKING BACK THE SOUNDWAVES! So I brainstormed a few variations on the straight-forward ask. My results:
Variation 0 — Charades: Some of you made reference to some sort of miraculous international “turn down your volume” gesture. What is it, guys? I’m seriously drawing a blank. I’ve tried making eye contact with people and pantomiming turning a volume knob counter-clockwise. Nothing. Putting my hands over my ears and shaking my head. Nothing. Pointing to my ears then downward. Apparently I’m the worst at charades! HELP!
Variation 1 — Mock ’til They Stop: The offender was a cute fake blonde carrying an iPod in a screaming pink Roxy cover and wearing little martini glass earrings — cosmos or appletinis, one can only assume. Over the course of the stops, her music blared on in a rapid spiral of shame-pop. Sean Paul “Get Busy” descended to Lady Gaga, which degraded further to “Fergielicious.” Once her earbud-cum-speakers started thunking out “Play That Funky Music White Boy,” look, guys, I was honor-bound to save the car from plumbing any further depths of her musical taste. I waited for a lull in the bass, then pounced:
TKOG: I love that song! It’s great! And you’re so brave!
Funky Music-Loving White Girl: What do you mean?
TKOG: Well, I mean, I think that song’s great, but everyone makes fun of me. I could never have the courage to play it in the T for everyone to hear!
FMLWG: [flips me off and turns the other way, accompanied by the opening strains of "Living La Vida Loca"]
Variation 2 — Monkey See, Monkey Do: I got on the train and sat next to a pretty long-haired hippie chick. Someone near us was playing music too loudly, though I couldn’t see who, and it made me self-conscious. So I took out my earbuds and (sincerely) asked the girl: “Is my music too loud? Can you hear it? I’m sorry to be weird and ask, but I’m always afraid it’s too loud.” She assured me it was fine and smiled back.
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed her picking up earbuds from among her ringlets and plug them in her ears. Then she cranked up the volume to maximum, until her music was throbbing in my head, and I finally turned off my own, graciously defeated.
Variation 3 — Killing Them With Kindness: No particular anecdote for this one, but I’ve used it three times so far. It’s more a technique, than anything. Basic conversation:
TKOG: Excuse me, sorry to bother you, but what’s that song you’re listening to?
Music Offender: What?
TKOG: That song that you’re listening to on your iPod. It’s pretty cool.
MO: You can hear that?!
TKOG: Yeah, but don’t worry. I just wanted to know who sings it.
MO: [gives the name of a band that I obviously don't care about and will never listen to, but in the process either realizes their error and turns their music down, or at the very least, gives me a bemused but not venomous smile]
So far, it’s been my best bet. I’ve gotten two music turn-downs — better than any of the other techniques I’ve tried.
The Verdict: Turns out it is actually possible to persuade people to turn down their music! But it takes much time and effort, and about half the time actually resulted in people turning their volume up. (Which would have happened more, I’m just guessing, were some people not already at peak volume.) Between that and Justice not-so-sweetly suggesting that I belong on the National Registry For National Over-Interactors Who Don’t Deserve Public Transportation, it might be time to give up this quest.
However, looking at my results, I am choosing to believe that the vast majority of too-loud-listeners are not inveterate, hateful nun-punchers, but rather people who are not totally aware of their actions. And if they react with hostility or even do not react to polite, kind entreaties, it is only because they are defensive out of embarrassment!
I know, I know, I’m a gullible fool and they’re all hanging out together right now, listening to a mishmash of death metal and saccharine rap-pop, strangling a sweet little nonagenarian in her own holiday sweater. But I’m trying to have faith.
Anyone have any more fail-proof variations?
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(Also, dudes, my apologies for the mega proliferation of T-related stories lately. I swear I’m not becoming the kind of girl who rides the train back and forth all dang day, praying to strike the awkward lode. But tonight I’m going to stalk Lorrie Moore so tomorrow I promise: no trains. Unless I follow her onto one.)
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
It took me a long time to realize that headphones aren’t exactly private, nor subtle.
I was on a bus years ago going from Cardiff to London. I had my headphones on, and listened to music (loudly) the entire way. The person sitting next to me could clearly hear my music, as whenever a song came on that they enjoyed (the Red Hot Chili Peppers, for example) they would tap their fingers on their thigh. When a song they didn’t like came on (such as by Eminem) the tapping would stop.
This happened for hours, and I’m not sure whether the person was performing some kind of Pavlovian experiment on me, but I found myself only playing music that they approved of, so to speak.
Clearly I didn’t think to turn it down, but come on, I was 18 (thus clearly an asshole).
I don’t get it–why don’t people just read on the train? If I were listening to music, I’d be so afraid of the announcement of my stop. (I had a friend who was listening to his iPod in the airport and missed the gate change for his flight–he had to wait 9 hours for the next one!)
It just seems sad. Sometimes I think walkmans/iPods/what have you are just another thing to keep people from reading. It seems like people would prefer anything–’90s rap, Pop Tarts, even staring into space–to reading. (Another anecdote: I was once on a plane flight from SF to London–10 hours!) and the lady next to me did nothing but stare at the picture of the plane on the little map in front of her inching its way across the Atlantic and take naps. HOW did she not go out of her mind with boredom?) But people don’t listen to blaring music on the Caltrain–why?
I am always surprised at the entries that get a crapload of comments. I guess we all have common codes of decency.
I’m with you on the value of reading! My commute for work is an hour each way, plus some extra bus time twice a week when I go take classes, and I love it because I go through a book every day or two! It’s a great excuse to finally work through all the novels in my library I haven’t read yet. I only listen to music on the T every once in a while, when either I’ve finished my book and don’t have a back-up, or am under a thundercloud and need some showtunes to perk me up.
Not hearing the next stop isn’t really a concern, as the stops are very recognizable, but I have seen people miss announcements that the above-ground trains are turning into expresses!
Sometimes I look around on the train and am totally depressed by how many people are in their own little technology bubbles: iPod, iPhone, texting, and whatnot. Like, I know we’re not supposed to be super-interacty on the train, but the techno-bubble cuts off all possibility of connecting with someone, even for a moment.
Although in defense of Bostonians, I do see a lot of people reading! Especially on the ride over the the morning, they read papers.
My grandfather used to be able to listen to a murder mystery on the radio, read a different one at the same time (so reading whilst listening yes) and tell you the plots of both without mixing them up afterwards. I’m sort of the same with the Tv (read a magazine while watching a drama) so there are people who could listen to music and read at the same time. In fact, thinking about it, I used to do that on long-distance trains back in the days of cassette Walkmans (giving away my age a bit, but I make no secret of it anyway).
Public Transit is a tricky situation. There are always these two people who sit on opposite ends of a three person bench when I’m going to work in the morning. There’s not enough room in the middle for me, but because of the way the bus is setup, and the amount of people on it, I have to stand RIGHT in front of the gap that looks just about big enough for me, and I hope I’m not offending them, but really, you are taking up MORE than one third of the seat. Which isn’t my problem!
In that situation I just squidge in (I’ve spoken about commuter net heavy rail before, and that tends to be set up as 3 person benches and 2 person benches), but I guess 18 stones of mostly bone and muscle makes that easier for me, yes?
Variation 4 – Offer to show them a magic trick.
Next time someone is playing their music too loudly, tap them on their shoulder and ask them if they want to see a magic trick.
If they agree (which they inevitably will as magic is cool), ask to see their ipod, at which point you remove the extremely powerful magnet you are carrying in your pocket and place it against the iPod.
If it works, you should then be able to turn to the person and hand their iPod back to them with the phrase: “Hey Presto, I made all your tracks disappear”.
Obviously the easier way is to substitute the magnet for the ‘restore factory settings button’ but that’s not as cool.
Hahaha I totally cracked up at what you told Pink Roxy Chick. What a jerrrrk!
haha awesome! Im glad you were finally able to make them stop. Next time though, I think you should just start singing really loud along with their music. Maybe stand up and do a little dance next to them… That’ll show em!
omg! I LOVE this suggestion! I’m so doing it next time — if only for hilarity value! (And of course subsequently posting on it — though after I’ve taken a bit of a hiatus from my all-transportation-all-the-time NTKOG streak…)
Yea I actually thought your first variation would be the “dance along to their song so they realize how loud it is,” but your “I love that song too! You’re so brave! Everyone makes fun of me for liking it!” variation was actually super hilarious.
you know, I just posted the other day about how in dc appreciate the speaker-uppers on the metro…. but the one area that seems exempt is overly-loud earbuds. it’s VERY common, and no one ever says ANYTHING about it.
i’ve even had people just play the music on their phones on the metro. no earphones even attempted. just blaring it on speakerphone or whatever and holding it near their head.
ridiculous.
Hahah. Well said, I’ll have to try some of your suggestions. Very creative!
My dear TKOG, I fear that you are far to subtle for that sort of environment – but a good try nonetheless. Congratulations for making it work sometimes!
I hate to say this, but the only way I think you’re going to tune out other people’s music is by listening to your own.
Can you find music that is white noise allowing you to read while on the T?
Btw, love the tagline.