NTKOG #36: The kind of radiantly personable, indulgent conversationalist who isn’t afraid to let the situation continue long after any normal person would throw a slap, walk away, and be done with it.
I am: mighty quick on the conversational eject button.
I am not: going to have sex with you, men of Boston. And I’m totally not comfortable when you come up and ask. It makes me want to slap you!
The Scene: Behind the Kinko’s near Sister’s house; I have just copied and cut a multitude of cards for the murder mystery party, and am standing behind the store digging frantically through my purse for my cell phone. For context, I am wearing a black cowl-necked sweater, a skirt, and flip-flops.
A man crosses the street from the parking lot on the other side where he’d been standing, and walks right toward me, waving as he approaches. I look over my shoulder — who, me? Yes, me. He asks for the time and I tell him I have no idea, as my cell is MIA. He then asks when I’m up to, and I mention the party and return the question. He is taking real estate courses at a continuing education center across the street, he tells me, and it’s so empowering.
We chat a little bit about what the current market means for real estate in Boston, which moves into a discussion of California real estate, then just how friggin’ beautiful wine country is. He is a nice man, and very professional though sort of blue collar. I am enjoying our conversation, even though I am 0% attracted to him (too old; bad teeth). Then:
Empowered Future Broker: Can I tell you something? Off the record?
TKOG: Uh, okay, sure. What is it?
EFB: You have nice toes.
TKOG: What?!
EFB: You have some pretty-ass toes!
TKOG: Uh … thanks. And to think I almost wore boots today!
Then, instead of making this the slap-a-known-foot-fetishist NTKOG, I stayed and continued chatting with the guy, about the bad rap feet get in society, and the growing role of flip-flops in the professional world. Then, as he finished the cigarette he’d lit during the conversation and seemed just about to ask for my number, I mentioned I had to run and prep for the party, waved toodles, and left him to, most likely, spend the rest of his class break lingering longingly in the aisles of the local Payless.
The Verdict: So, creepy as the whole exchange was, I actually felt pretty good about continuing to talk to the guy after he’d pulled the sketch card. I mean, as totally misguided as the compliment was (nice toes? mine are strictly average — right, The Ex?), the guy obviously meant it in a nice way. And especially with all the TKOG-ing I do, I respect someone who isn’t afraid to just come up to a person and friggin’ engage with them. It’s refreshing.
Plus, I respect that when he saw I wasn’t into the whole toe compliment, we were able to keep chatting comfortably, as we had before. Turns out a sketchy guy can redeem himself. Who knew?! Still, I can only hope that by indulging him in conversation, he can sense that I was trying to reward personable-with-strangers-ness, and not tacitly approving public toe-coveting.
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I suspect that prefacing it with, “Can I tell you something – off the record” and inserting “ass” between “pretty” and “toes” didn’t help either…
Ok, when someone says “Can I tell you something?” or “Can I ask you something?” it makes me SO AWKWARD that I want to immediately run for the hills. JUST ASK!!!!!!!!!
And WHAT was the temperature there that you were wearing cowl neck sweater and FLIP FLOPS?!
Dude, totally agree about prefacing questions! In general, it’s a terrible thing to do. Another unfortunate one, between friends or colleagues: “Can I talk to you about something?” Not anymore you can’t, champ, because I’m going to be ducking your calls for the next several weeks.
Also, the weather’s pretty pleasant here: it was overcast but clear, maybe mid-60s. Definitely sweater + skirt (no tights) weather. I’m also ridiculously attached to my flipflops and wear them in pretty much any weather, as long as the streets are dry.
Eeek. Foot fetishist alert!!! Kudos for you for continuing to converse with him…
Aw, I miss your sexy toes! Yea, I guess they might be average in attractiveness (and they usually have a rugged, playing-in-the-mud appearance from your year-round flip-flops devotion), but they score so high in personality! (Shout-out to the Patented NTKOG 40-point scale: http://notthatkindofgirl.net/2009/10/03/the-kind-of-girl-who-wants-nothing-to-do-with-you-unless-you-stick-the-landing-an-ntkog-that-wasnt/)
Speaking of Patented NTKOG things, when are you going to publish a murder mystery party guide? You’re leaps and bounds ahead of the curve on creativity, technology, innovation, moxie, cocktailcrafting, and implementation experience. Might as well share that knowledge with the world, maybe even get compensated for it, and start making a name for yourself!
Good idea about a Murder Mystery e-book, dear! I really should get on that — it would be a great philanthropic gift to habitual throwers of lame, un-themed circle parties.
Also, my toes appreciate the compliments (and that you, unlike certain sketchy street dudes, appreciate their personalities, rather than just their physical components.) Of course, you have a leg up (pun acknowledged) on the general populace in TKOG toe appraisal, because only you know what charming stenographers they are.
With your hair (check “Not a Hello Kitty Fanatic”), he was a total foot fetishist to even look that far down!
haha, thank you! And not to be vain, but I was actually kind of thinking the same thing when he busted out his creepy compliment. I mean, my hair was in a ponytail and I was wearing a friggin’ sweater, so it didn’t even occur to me that anyone would possibly have a reason to try to hit on me. Live and learn, I guess.
Creepy! I always get a little weirded out when people look at my feet, much less when they compliment them. I went to a job interview once where the owner of the company kept looking down at my feet. It as really creeping me out. At the end he told me he really liked my tattoo. It took me a minute to put two and two together, that he was looking at the tattoo on my foot.
Oh man, that’s sketchy anyway, though: I feel like physical compliments are never appropriate from potential employers, even if they are body-mod or hair based. My only exception is perhaps a breezy compliment on a particularly cute blazer or purse.
Also, what’s your foot tattoo of? It didn’t get a mention on your 100 things post today!
Sorry to comment on so many of your posts but your blog is so addictive. I can’t read just one. I’m really loving it!
That kind of happened to me once except it was at the film dept of my uni when I was trying to sign up for a class and the guy didn’t preface it with “Can I ask you…” and he seemed sort of effeminate and didn’t hit on me in any other way. It was just, “You have really pretty toes,” and I was all, thanks. (In his defense…they are really pretty!)