If the timeline to this one seems a bit wonky, it’s because I wrote it a few months ago. I NTKOG-ed like a champ in DC, but am too involved in another writing project to get to that ’til tomorrow…
NTKOG #42: The kind of girl who, ignoring the maxim that how much you spend determines who you are, cops to asking for free money or discounts during routine transactions.
I am: polite and friendly even to the point of chattiness with customer service reps in every field, and always secretly nurse the hope that being actively nice will net me the occasional secret discount, coupon or freebie (which happens more often than you’d think.)
I am not: my mother, whose unofficial motto is “What’s the harm in asking? The worst they can say is no!” Um, yeah, but what if they say it really, really condescendingly?
The Scene: Back in Vegas, before the move, prowling every department store in every mall for clothes that I really, really love (regardless of the price – see also the revelation of my 400 friggin’ dollar suit of awesomeness).
I’m flipping through the racks, picking up every suit I see with basically nice lines, in search of one of those tricky bastards that looks horrible on the rack and to-die-for once it’s on. And there it is.
This suit is a fucking situation. The fabric is black and metallic silver, in this small brocadey pattern that is exactly but exactly what you’d use to upholster an ironic-cool-no-wait-is-that-actual-cool? armchair in a SF hipster museum-apartment. The coat is a duster that hits me mid-knee; the matching skirt is, to my slight chagrin, just a bit longer. And the thing that’s so amazing about this suit is that it’s a terrible. fucking. suit. It is, however, the greatest dress coat I’ve ever seen, and a perfect work skirt for a tailored-artsy young professional.
I try it on and it, miraculously, doesn’t make me look like a furniture floor display. And it’s marked down from $288 to $70! (What?! Scottish-Jewish! Not checking the sales rack would dishonor my lineage!) So I take it to the counter to attempt to work some discount magic, confident that I will walk away one full-purchase-cost-plus-tax lighter in the wallet.
The salesgirl is one of those spring-loaded little almost-natural blonde girls who are to regular woman as ponies are to horses. She wears a marquise-cut diamond ring on the index finger of her right hand, is the kind of woman she is.
S: Will that be all for you?
K: Yes, that’s all. And can I get a discount on the suit?
S: Do you have a coupon?
K: No.
S: Is there something wrong with it?
K: Not that I know of.
S: Are you Triple A? A student? An employee?
K: Not at all. I was just hoping I could get a discount.
S: It’s already been marked down twice.
K: …
S: I can give you 10% off. I’ll put it in the computer that there was a snag in the fabric.
The Verdict: Wait, what?! That really works?! (Later, I tried my new trick at a few other department stores, and ended up having an employee apply an upcoming sale discount two days in advance to take 30% off a little black dress; when I tried it at another store, though, all I got was a suggestion to check the website for a lower price.)
So am I that kind of girl? Um, yes. I felt a little bit sketchy about accepting a discount for a fabric imperfection that wasn’t there, and probably wouldn’t do that again, but asking for secret promotions or shiftable upcoming sales prices? Hella. I guess my mom was right: if you want something, just ask.
Plus, by giving me incentive to become a loyal customer, department stores are really helping me help them. And what helps them helps the economy slash world! So basically, just doing my part as a well-dressed citizen of the universe.
[Edit: Dude, since I tried this ages ago, I do this all the dang time. It has gotten me a free boxspring for my mattress, a cheap-as-free preassembled chest of drawers that had been a floor sample, and countless hidden coupons. Do this, guys!]
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My old roommate was so talented at this. Almost to the point of embarrassment… but after treading this I may have to give it another shot.. bc I hate spending money!
Dude, do it! It’s so worth it! I always wait ’til there’s no line behind me so I don’t annoy the salesperson and other customers. But especially if you really crank up the charm, you’d be amazed at how much people want to do to help you!
This is just fantastic! I wish I had the guts to do that- I think I’d just feel guilty. I have to get over my Jewish guilt…it totally runs my life!
See, but you can turn around the Jewish guilt! Try to get two-for-one knishes at Zaftig’s … maybe the proprietors’ Jewish guilt will be on your side?
I wish I had the guts for that! But I don’t. Not at ALL. *shakes head* lol
Yes! Last week I only had $2 on me and asked for a piece of cake that was $3 and they gave it to me! Pretty sweet. Atta girl!
Can I have a pony?
If you want to see a professional at this watch a little boy wheel and deal with his parents. Can I get this toy? How about this one? How about some candy? Some gum?
There have been times I’ve been rather dirt poor, so I have learned that you either deal or cease to function. My dad was embarassing with it, he pretty much pestered the people so much that they would give him something so he would go away. My mother was just very good with her money and also able to find good deals from sales to flea markets.
I think as I have aged I’m developing a better ability to also see things and say, I want that… yet while enjoying the thought also be able to walk away too. Sort of Zen shopping.
At Foolsfitness it’s almost time for our 10 percent off sale. Just one more pound and 10 percent of me will be gone!!!- Alan
Scottish-Jew! Scottish-Jew! Na na na na naaaaaa naaaaaaaaaa!
Well done you. I would never do this because…. just because. Just like I would never ask a celeb for an autograph, for example at a Kelly Clarkson concert. Wait, what??? I went to a Kelly frickin’ Clarkson concert???
Not.
omg, wait, are you mocking my Kelly Clarkson concert experience? Or did you actually go to one? ’cause, dude, haters hate all they want, but I was so surprised by the quality of her performance! I’m not a huge Kelly fan, but dang, dude, girl has some friggin’ pipes. (Plus, she really knocked out a Patsy Cline song, which always gives someone big ups in my book.)
I would NEVER mock anyone for going to see Kelly Clarkson. Clay Aiken? Yes, absolutely. But never, ever Ms Kelly. I mean seriously, she’s got pipes.
Here’s an idea for you. Are you the kind of girl who goes to a Clay Aiken concert and stabs herself in the eye just to avoid being there any longer than necessary? Hahaha. Having to sit through a CA concert would be a fate worse than death.
haha, I suspect I totally am the eye-stabbing type. Although I’ve been meaning to heckle as an NTKOG, but am looking for a situation in which I would not feel way too bad for being a disruptive jerk. You seem to have suggested a pretty good target…
EGADS WHAT?! I worked retail for FOUR YEARS and dealt with seriously sketchy people and nobody asked me for a random discount! That’s hilarious!
And because of you, I got a compliment on our readers today. Yes, someone said “You have funny readers. Who’s That Kind of Girl?” to which I said “She’s a blogger in London, England. Wait, no, she’s in Boston.”
Wait a minute… does that mean, *I’M* not funny, and just our readers are?!
1. That girl has probably told all of her friends how this effing awesome, balls-to-the-wall chick walked into her store and just up and asked for an effing discount and how awesome it was. And if she has a blog, consider yourself posted about.
2. I love a bargain and ask for free shit like iPhones and ice cream on the regular. It’s my motto. Without free shit and discounts, there is no purpose. True story.
3. Drinks and party? You. Me. Anytime girl. Anytime.
xo
-sandyb
Do you actually get free iPhones and ice cream when you ask? Because I might have to try that.
I totally have to try this. That’s so awesome that it worked. And damn that is one fine mark down!
I think the closest I ever came to haggling for a discount was at a store I usually got a discount from anyway.
One of the people that works there regularly, knows that I know the brand, and I know the prices online, and considering the store overprices the items, I buy them at their actual price.
But one day that I went to buy goodies, she wasn’t there. Instead someone else was. And I was like “hey, so I usually get a discount, is it possible to get it again for this purchase?” Totally worked! :D
But props to you for getting to do this at more locations. I lack the finesse to properly get away with it. :p
Nicely done, TKOG! This is such a change it amazes me! And it’s practical too!
Pretty excellent! I’ve never had the balls to do that. I did get a discount on a dress I really liked because it was the last one and had a minor imperfection. I think I got it for $18 when it was $30. I was pretty jazzed, as I would have bought it for $30. When I got it home, it only took me 30 seconds to fix the imperfection, so it was a double win.
I currently live overseas in a country where bargaining is a way of life. I am now the kind of girl who regularly asks for a discount.
Story: there is an annual fair/global market/amusement park something-or-other where I live. They have pavilions from different countries with stalls selling goods from around the world. One is expected to haggle and I’ve gotten quite good at it.
On this particular day, I was in the India pavilion, looking for a pencil cup (you know, to keep my pencils in) and I found a lovely carved rosewood one. I asked the vendor how much and the amount came out to about $2.50 USD. Even I, expert haggler that I’d become, couldn’t justify asking for a discount. Did I mention it was carved rosewood? So I paid for it happily, but felt that I had missed out on part of the experience because I hadn’t haggled at all.
I thanked the vendor and was walking out when I saw a basket full of mirrored pens. I turned to the vendor and blurted “Can I have one for free?” and he smiled and nodded. We both felt vindicated.