Can’t get enough of me? As per friggin’ usual? Jump over to Are You There God? It’s Me, Nikki to read my YA-Lit recap of The Headless Cupid — one of the greatest children’s books of the 20th century!
NTKOG #53: The kind of Birkenstocky tree-hugger for whom using a paper towel when cloth would suffice is tantamount to slicing a swatch off a Giant Panda’s hide and using it to buff your counter.
I am: kind of lazy. Why do tons of laundry when you could just pick up an eight-pack of Bounty? Plus, cloth towels don’t have their own obnoxiously brain-hijacking jingle!
I am not: the best representative of Northern California, I guess. Sorry, Mother Earth! I cut the apron strings!
The Scene: My apartment — my cute little studio, stocked with everything an artsy-professional 20something could want: books books books, weird drunken wall art, a fully stocked (though shelf-less) kitchen. Er, make that everything except one thing: disposable paper goods. When I moved into my apartment on September 1st, I made the conscious decision to eschew every non-essential disposable paper good. By which I actually mean just … napkins, Kleenex and paper towels.
According to Etsy, there is a non-disposable alternative to toilet paper. But, dudes, I’m not that not that kind of girl.
I like how these reusable toilet paper squares are color-coded -- in case you live in a multi-person home? Holy christ.
Seriously, I use the cleaning cloths for everything: scrubbing out my sink, cleaning all my apartment surfaces (with baking soda and vinegar — no chemicals here!), wiping town the mirrors, even polishing my floors! (Equal parts vegetable oil and vinegar. I’m a hands-and-knees floor scrubber. It’s actually kind of fun! Says the girl who also hand-washes like 80% of her laundry, including cleaning cloths.)
I used to be a huge paper towel abuser. Every time my hands were a bit wet: paper towel. Counter need a quick swipe? Paper towel. Bored in the kitchen and no onions to arbitrarily chop? PAPER TOWEL ORIGAMI! But for the past two months, I’ve replaced all of my old paper towel whims — up to but excluding the origami — with normal kitchen towels.
My fabulous hand-stenciled "Famous Facial Hair Dudes Throughout History" kitchen towel set. Can you name all five famous dudes?!
And yet — and yet, this post is written in the past tense. That’s right: I relapsed. Last weekend I was making eggplant parmesan, and as I frantically patted the slices of eggplant with Hemingway’s most radical forehead furrows, it occurred to me: I just don’t do laundry enough that using cloth towels on decayable food can be the best of all possible ideas. So I caved and bought a single roll of paper towels to use exclusively for food preparation. I know. I’m weak.
The Verdict: Living without what I considered to be a simple necessity? Totally easier than anticipated! Although I’m no longer a paper-towel tyrant, I’ve set a personal goal for myself to use no more than a single roll of paper towels every two months. Easy on the wallet and on the planet!
Oh jeez, guys. Between this and the hand-washing and line-drying, I truly am turning into a hippie. Next stop … Diva Cup? (I totally will if they send me a free sample. TAKE NOTE, DIVAS!)
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Color me impressed. I may do this just because we run out of paper towels so damn much and I’m left with nothing to clean up my mess.
And by “my mess” I mean that of B and the two kittens, of course. I AM A LADY.
I’m a total tree-hugger and a Diva Cup user…I also use paper towels. Not so much lazy, it’s more of a germ-phobic thing.
I always think it’s interesting, the arbitrary lines we all draw in this crazy mixed-up world! Like I’m the opposite of a germ-phobe, but cannot touch people. Or like I have no issue with the five-second (or, uh, longer) rule, but freak out if my foods touch each other on the plate.
I love the infinite nature of the human mind, and how much of that infiniteness is dedicated solely to strange whimsy! :-)
Okay, I’ve got a few things to say to you.
Firstly, on those towels did I catch a glimpse of Rutherford B Hayes? Or did I just make that up?
Seriously, I have become much more green lately. I use a lot of towels now instead of paper towels. But, I may be able to convert you back to being wasteful…..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HYkjLUMx19I
PLEASE watch that.
“Rip it again. Now you just got a crapload of squares.”
omg, that is hysterical. I … I may or may not be watching this for like the third time in a row. LOVE IT!
Also, sadly not Rutherford “Ol’ Eight-to-Seven” Hayes but I am TOTALLY OBSESSED WITH RUTHERFORD B. HAYES so basically you are totally awesome, is what I am saying.
When I was in the third grade I had to pick someone to do a report on. I’m a slacker now, and I was a slacker then. I waited until about 9pm the night before it was due before cracking open an encyclopedia to randomly pick the first name I saw. So, basically what I am saying is that I wasn’t even totally awesome on purpose, it was fate.
Uhh, what?
Best friends, paper towels.
lol, fantastic ShamWow parody.
I LOVE your famous facial hair dude towels. So hilarious.
I also love your towels! And lets not forget your less washing of the hair. That totally adds to your hippy-ness.
I am horrible about conserving paper. But I figure I rarely wash clothes and I don’t like to shower so I’m saving somewhere. Right?
The ShamWow failed me. I thought that would be the answer to overusing paper towels. The infomercials promised that it could absorb almost anything. I was not prepared to discover that the TV could lie to me.
I don’t think I have bought paper towels in the past decade, didn’t really think about it. I do use paper products for large parties and kiddie parties, for my sanity. No Diva cup here, I use washable cloth pads. I clean the day before I do laundry (or sometimes the same day), but we are a 4 person household, so lots of laundry, and a few rags make little difference.
Oooh, this has made me realise I don’t use paper towel in my kitchen. It never occurred to me before. Just like the day someone was talking about salt and I realised I had actually stopped adding it to my food years ago….
I use paper towel where it’s the best product for the job (blotting small spills, wiping spectacles lenses when you’ve just come in out of the cold, wiping out oily but otherwise clean non-stick or seasoned pans…), but I’ve never used paper hankies (I can usually blow clear through them when I have a cold).
OTOH I don’t normally buy a daily lie sheet newspaper, and that saves way more paper than not buying a roll of paper towel every month or 2 would!
Those non-disposable alternatives to tp – WTF? I couldn’t even begin to imagine myself EVER using something like that.
The green towel on the end is Salvador Dali. The one in the middle is either Jesus or Ted Kazynski, maybe Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam????
As I appear to have a ‘Simpsons’ theme going as I comment backwards all day, my favorite quote ever is “Damn you, Walt Whitman, I. Hate. You. Walt. Freakin’. Whitman. Leaves of grass, my ass!”
I’m stumped on number two, though. Oops, TOWEL number two, not the reusable wipes in the first picture (though that is disturbing of it’s own right.) I get kind of a Lenin thing (not Lennon, he’s number 4), but Lenin didn’t have hair. I need a better angle on that one.
And that thing I said about learning something new every day (if you’re reading these in reverse chronological order as I’m posting them)? I take that back after having to Google ‘diva cup’. That goes on the list of things I could have gone my life without knowing.
Dear, and I kid you not, there were NO (N O) paper towels when I was growing up. They are a new invention and all families kept their old garments, tore them up and used them for dust cloths etc. It was totally normal to be dusting the living room with remnants of grandpa’s old underwear. Oh, I am NOT kidding.
Lucky for you, I am cleaning up the old house and should I come across any useable “family” dust cloths I’ll Fed Ex them to you.
Waste not: want not. Or, I could send you a couple of coupons for Bounty. Your choice!
Dang, guys, my towels are apparently harder to recognize than I thought! I blame my shoddy stencil-making skills.
For the record, from left to right:
Charles Darwin (though he totes looks like Walt Whitman!); Nietzsche; Rasputin; Ernest Hemingway; Salvadore Dali.
Man, totally makes a chick wish she could participate in No-Shave November. Or, well. I mean. I guess a girl could but. YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN.
I’m still impressed with the stencils, but monotone just doesn’t bring out the subtle details. Obviously I got Walt Whitman off the first one, couldn’t make out the second but never would have gotten Nietzshe (there’s nothing he couldn’t teach ya ’bout the raising of the wrist…), and I had Rasputin pegged as a late 60′s John Lennon.
I got 4 & 5, are you grading on a curve?
I think you’ve done the best so far! You curve-breaker! Now all the other kids are going to be mad at you after class!
The only disposable paper we have left in the home is toilet paper.
I use handkerchiefs (not as gross as you think…)
I use napkins at the table
And we have cloths for the kitchen
I also use the Diva Cup and wrote an in-depth review on it
In short: I LOVE THE CUP!!! I never have to worry about ANY kind of leak (seriously.. NO leaks, I had tons with tampons and obviously, pads).. and it’s super easy to take out and rinse
I feel so good not wasting more tampons into our landfill
You can also buy re-usable pads, but I think the Diva Cup is a lot cleaner, and less ickier than that.
Read my review here: Diva Cup Review by Fabulously Broke