Comments on: The Kind of Girl Whose … dating history will probably end up on a police deposition

By: Natalie

Natalie — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 15:19:27 +0000

“My adult life has been a sustained hysteria of want. And right now, what I want is not to want anything that requires anybody else.”

I see myself mirrored in this comment. My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me a few months ago, and I decided to move halfway across the country soon after. Now I find myself alone for the first time in 8 years, and it’s odd. I feel like I should want to find a new guy, but I’ve come to realize that I’m truly not interested in anyone. Also, over the past month or so, I’ve discovered that I enjoy my life a lot more when I’m not constantly hunting for my next prey.

By: The Kind of Girl Who … totally wigs out « Not That Kind of Girl

The Kind of Girl Who … totally wigs out « Not That Kind of Girl — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 15:07:00 +0000

[...] Scene: Saturday night, early evening, on the heels of my non-disastrous date. Remember that time I put on a Lady Gaga-ish blonde wig and slipped out into the sunset? Okay, so, for the cinematic date exit, that was a stroke of genius. For the duration of the T ride [...]

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:22:06 +0000

He did end up asking for a second date on the very day I posted this. And I followed everyone’s excellent advice and was upfront with him and told him, basically, “I thought I was ready to date, but actually going out there made me realize my feelings about my break-up were more complicated than I had thought. I had a really nice time, but it wouldn’t be fair to either of us for me to pursue anything until I’m in a better place.”

It was weirdly TOTALLY NOT AWKWARD. He actually told me that he’d suspected I’d say something like that, as it seemed like I was a little distant during the date. Interesting.

It was amazing to be able to be so upfront though. I have a really, really hard time saying no or putting myself out there in social situations, and I was amazed by how easy it was. Definitely NTKOG learning experience!

By: freckledk

freckledk — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:30:38 +0000

Did he ask for a second date? If you aren’t ready, tell him, preferably in the exact same manner in which you told us. I’m sure he’d understand, and probably be grateful that you didn’t leave him hanging.

By: Dating is My Hobby

Dating is My Hobby — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:33:57 +0000

Cheers to confronting your feelings about the Ex. That’s a very big girl thing to do and very difficult. Admitting that you were in love once doesn’t need to be admitting that you should always be in love with that person– or that the love can’t be transformed to another form of love– like friendship.

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:37:33 +0000

haha, I know, right?! Words cannot even convey how FRIGGIN’ PSYCHED I am that she’s guest-posting on Thursday!

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:36:59 +0000

Thank you so much! I think you’re definitely right about not being the center of the universe — everyone feels that way, but then the more insane stuff you do, the more you realize that other people are so busy being the centers of their universes that they don’t even notice the little stuff you’re doing.

Also, in re: normal, though this is kind of tangential, I read and fell in love with this comic the other day that maaaaay have made me a little misty-eyed. It’s a good reminder about why it’s just not even worth it to expend the energy to try to be “normal”: http://www.viruscomix.com/page500.html

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:32:56 +0000

I think you’re right! I was chickening out, but I’m going to go ahead and email him to nip this in the bud, instead of waiting around angsting over whether he’ll try to IM me again. (He did right after the date, and I freaked out and logged out of gchat. Maybe not my most socially optimal move?)

Also, thanks so much for the kind words in re: the blog! I’ve got to say, I’m a big believer in trying to always remember to do something outside the ordinary. It’s amazing how well much of it works out! (And as for the rest of the stuff, you can think to yourself: “Well, at least I know I’m not missing anything!”)

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:31:17 +0000

Respectfully disagree! C’mon, I get a year of being single before I start getting the grandkid pressure, right?

Besides, she’s really stuck if I don’t end up having kids, ’cause I’m not even getting pets. It’ll just be grand-elephants ahoy-hoy.

By: Sister

Sister — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 02:00:04 +0000

Excellent! The best part about you being single (well, besides living within a mile of your dear sister) is that you are now fair game with Mom. She can start ragging on you instead of me. Dude, I was going to go crazy if I heard her say one more time that she’s okay with only having a grand-cat and no grand children from me. Dear Mother: please carry on annoying NTKOG!