NTKOG #78: The kind of girl who gets her Carmen Sandiego on and actually boosts some items from the general populace.
I am: well recovered from my pre-teen shoplifting phase; generally law-abiding.
I am not: actually pickpocketing anyone, so get your finger off your 911 speed-dial.
The Scene: Agganis Arena, for Friday night’s hockey game against RPI (close ’til they scored two rapid-fire goals on us in the last two minutes). Sister had won four free tickets, so we invited along Picasso and his fiancée, Hot Hands. The reason for her hot-handedness apparent in a moment.
We arrived right at game time, and only then realized that our tickets came with Club Lounge access for food before the game. We rushed in and were braced by the embarrassment of culinary riches. Of note: a fantastic cheese platter decorated — just decorated — with half-pound wedges of brie. The whole place was actually done up with every attempt at turning a sweaty, sterile environment into a winter wonderland. Little evergreen trees sprouted from silver tablecloths; poinsettias, er, wilted at every turn.
Problem: within the ten measly minutes we were in the Club Lounge, we missed the first five minutes of the game and the FIRST THREE GOALS. wtf, right?
Sister: We should just walk out of here with stuff.
TKOG: Oh my god, that would be unbelievably tacky. … okay.
Sometimes a picture is worth a thousand words. Sometimes a blogger is lazy and tired and pictures are all you’re getting anyway:
Nothing classes up a sporting event like smuggled sandwiches made of half-pound blocks of stolen for-decoration-only brie.
Once Hot Hands cleared out her purseful of stolen rolls, she did us all proud by sneaking back to the scene of the crime for a second heist:
Hot Hands with the liberated Christmas tree.
The Verdict: I’m going to go on record as saying I totally approve of some light-hearted semi-thievery, and chalk it up as another case of: “nobody cares when you do embarrassing stuff, so just go ahead and do it, champ.” Although in this case there is the caveat that this is all stuff that would have gotten thrown away slash had no monetary value.
I will further admit that this jocular banditry might have extended to a full-out spree this weekend, wherein Sister and I possibly liberated further winter decorations from a shopping center in Deadham. But that one I actually felt terrible about. Until I decided to pretend to myself that the giant glittery snowflake picks probably would have been stolen by juvenile delinquents anyway. Aaaahh. Much better.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
You paid (well whoever bought the tickets paid anyway) for the food and stuff in the hospitality lounge. If you wanted to eat it whilst watching the game, then IMO you were well within your rights! Yes, I’ve done similar with business class flights (but not to the extent of blagging off with several 6-packs of beer the way one guy did).
True. The tree was straight-up stealing. The food was just infringing on the social understanding that one ought not take more than can be consumed in the proper setting. And that one ought not eat food that is set out for decoration only. But I mean, honestly, decorating with food?! So bourg.
I’ve done that too (eating an aledged decoration because I liked it better than the actual food food), and I’ll bet loads of us have blagged an odd beer glass, table decoration and the like!
Umm i don’t see anything wrong with stealing things that noone is going to eat anyway.
Especially when we are talking about cheese. I know when the cheese lady sets out the samples at Sprouts grocery store. And I may walk by about 12 times eating those delicious squares of cheese. So maybe we are both kind of cheese thieves.
For the record, I was not the only one to steal shrubbery. Let’s not forget about the little old couple that looked innocent and honorable until they shuffled off with two pointsettias.
While it may not be totally honest, I find it difficult to feel guilty about our cheese and shrub thievery as the items were destined for a dumpster. And, I might add, our little Christmas tree does look quite nice in our hallway.
CARMEN SANDIEGO! Thanks for reminding me how much I love her in general…
Something tells me Sally Strothers does NOT approve.
I love that the Charlie Brown tree was stolen.
Btw, is it considered stealing if at a hockey game? The tree was too fancy for the arena and needed to find a good home.
Sounds like brunch with my grandmother. Which is why I could never do it. Sounds like fun though (and not really stealing).
Haha, I would have stolen the cheese, too. Cheese and me are inseparable.
Reminds me: I got caught taking food out of my school dining hall. Mandatory meal plan. Crappy food. What’s a girl to do? Take food out so I can doctor them up into something edible. I almost got arrested, and was called a “thief”.
ah well.
I’ve only ever stolen a candle and holder from a pub (my friend liked it and wouldn’t steal it herself so i stole it as a surprise for her) and also from somewhere else, a bottle of mayonnaise. Which I realised later wasn’t sealed, so I chucked it out…
That brie looked fab though. MMMMM… cheese….
Mmmmm, stolen decoration brie….