NTKOG #82: The kind of chatty kathy who, given four hours trapped next to you on a plane, sets out to give you a detailed personal and medical history.
I am: a bitch when I travel. Don’t talk to me, don’t look at me, and don’t even think about stowing your coat in the overhead bin.
I am not: self-important enough to think anyone wants to hear my bidness anyway. (Except you guys. Heart.)
The Scene: Jetting back from Vegas, on a flight from Denver to my beloved Logan International. After I set up with my logic puzzle book, middle-aged couple settles in next to me. I let the woman genially elbow me in the face a few times with her snowman sweater, then get psyched for some discourse.
I ask where they’re coming from — Aspen, to visit their daughter — and she inquires as to whether I’m coming or going. “Coming home,” I tell her, “to the most beautiful city in the world, what?”
“I’m jealous,” she says. “I’d love to live in Boston! We live in Providence.” We chat for a few more oddly pleasant minutes, and I’m beginning to dread the onset of baby pictures when Snowman Sweater solves the problem by falling asleep mid-sentence.
We must have really hit it off, though, because at one point her head slumped over onto my shoulder. I even let it lay there for a second, before flinching her off. Progress!
The Verdict: I was all set to write this one off. The problem with being trapped for long periods of time with the same person: if you don’t like each other, that sucks; if you do hit it off, you have to keep on hitting ’til the end of the voyage. Can’t win with it, can’t play with it, etc.
But then! The payoff: after the plane touched down, got a text from my dear friend Physicist who had planned to drive up from Rhode Island to see me the next day. He was letting me know he couldn’t get a car; could we make alternate plans?
In a moment of warmth, I turned to my new bff. “Hey, you guys are from Rhode Island, right? I need to get to a place called Portsmouth tomorrow. Portsmouth — is that a city? Is that a thing? You have any idea how I can get there?”
And bless her, she and her husband spent the entire walk to the baggage claim plying me with potential travel routes. All of which actually turned out to be totally inaccurate. But still!
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
Getting chatting to people on a plane is something I’ve only started doing recently. I first did it on a plane back from Barcelona last year as I’d lost patience with my friend I was travelling with and needed to talk to someone else so chose the woman on my other side. She turned out to be really nice and weirdly it transpired that her daughter went to the school my mum taught at – and my mum actually REMEMBERED her. Small world.
I’m an iPod and word search puzzle girl on planes. It passes the time and I don’t have to make small talk.
Worst flying experience was sitting next to Japanese business on flight from San Jose to NYC. I was EXTREMELY hungover and all he wanted to do was chat. Luckily, I didn’t puke on him.
You should have puked on him! Would have sent him the message right away! (Also, flying hungover is the worst. As though hangovers weren’t already dehydrating enough.)
Oh I hate plane talk. I take out my book as soon as I get in my seat and send mental “Please don’t speak to me” messages to the people next to me.
i’m normally a pretty chatty person, and that weirdo who can go up to anyone at a party and start chatting away, but omg STAY AWAY FROM ME on a plane. i can chat for 30 minutes, sure. but i stop wanting to hear about your yoga classes / ibs / daughter’s cats after that and then i’m TRAPPED NEXT TO YOU OMG WHY CAN’T I FALL ASLEEP MIDSENTENCE?? that would be a great skill.
Little tip from me to you, when you can’t get up the strength of will to fall asleep mid-sentence? One of my lungs collapsed a year and a half ago and rather annoyingly sometimes decides to re-collapse a little on cross-country flights. I’ve learned that clutching your chest occasionally and muttering the phrase “spontaneous pneumothorax” generally gets people not only to stfu, but also avoid all eye contact! I think they’re afraid of stealing too much of yo’ oxygen and risking a lawsuit or something. Either way, MADE OF WIN.
I must be horrible to sit next to on a plane. Nervous=chatty and I hate flying. I do get the iPod/book/puzzle thing though.
I totally feel you on hating flying! I always have to bring my beloved stuffed elephant with me. People give me weird looks, but I tell them: “Look, I’m totally comfortable flying, but she gets a little nervous.”
The bonus to that, though, is that on Southwest flights, when people get to seat themselves, I have a better shot of getting a row to myself because people don’t want to mess with my clearly insane stuffed animal situation.
Oh Jeez. You should probably take a look at my Pet Peeves post that I had done recently, if you hadn’t already.
And Logic Puzzles?! That’s all I do, EVER. I was trying to figure out one of the more challenging ones the other day at work, and someone actually came up to me and asked “Are you doing math problems…. For fun?!”
Yes, yes I am.
I love chatting with people on planes. And hanging out with vendors when the come to install new software. And, basically, all relationships that have a very finite duration.
It’s the long term stuff I hate….
Ughhh I hate it when people talk to me on planes. You’re a much better girl than me, cause I would have immediately put on my earphones. But good for you for makin a friend with some (un)helpful information!
And a side note, while I hate strangers striking up a conversation with me, I’m sure I’m the strikee all the time, so I can’t say much!!
Dear, rule of thumb when flying: don’t talk to strangers, particularly the nice ones that offer you candy. (We’ve already discussed the “puppy ploy.”) Do NOT use the pillow or blankets on the plane: they are not sanitized and ever read the in house magazines. Never eat the fish in the rare chance that an airline feeds you. And always, and I repeat ALWAYS stare at every man’s crotch to determine if he is concealing explosives. It’s just common sense.
OMG. I hate the plane chit chat, and I’m usually a relatively friendly person in confined spaces with others (except for elevators. Don’t ask me how the weather is.) I totally agree with you though, if you don’t talk, you can maintain that the whole time, if you do start talking you have to ‘get along’ for the rest of the flight unless there is a decent in-flight movie to divert both of your attention. Ugh the perils of modern life.
“The most beautiful city in the world”? All of my New York friends claim that New York is this; all my San Francisco friends say that SF is this; and now you’re saying it about Boston? :)
I honestly think the most beautiful, best cities in the world are in Europe, with that old-world charm. The prettiest I’ve ever been to is Paris (so beautiful that the Nazi general in charge of Paris refused to destroy it when they were retreating at the end of the war.) I’ve heard that Prague and Vienna are lovely as well.
As for in America…. Savannah, Georgia. I mean, again, Sherman ended his march to the sea and wrote to Lincoln, giving Savannah to him as a Christmas present. This was after 60 miles of burning beautiful old plantation houses and the entirety of Atlanta. Boston is many things, but not the most beautiful city in the world.
Man, disagree. If you like europe, you can keep it. I’m not too into the rough-hewn stone scene. Of the dozens of European cities I’ve visited, the only one that even cracks my top five pretty cities is Copenhagen.
I’d have to agree I spoke hastily about Boston, though. San Francisco is the still the most beautiful place I’ve ever seen. Especially driving back across the golden gate bridge at the first hint of sunset — almost distressingly beautiful.
I think boston’s pretty dang wonderful, though. Every single day, even if all I do all day is go to the corner laundromat, I have at least one moment in which I look around and just think ‘jesus I’m lucky to live in this fine city’
I haven’t had time to read much of your blog, but I love the premise. I came across your website’s name in a discussion on 20sb and found it quite funny that our blog names are kind of opposites. You are Not That Kind of Girl and I’m Kind of That Girl. We should be friends. Can’t wait to read more of your blog later.
Ohh dear – this one has all kinds of hilarious subtle irony that may not even have been intended.
I tend to sleep whenever I travel long distance – I even keep a pair of eye shades in my pocket for the purpose, and take a scarf in the summer to use as a pillow. Far better than talking to randoms, I think.
Ooooh, I am interested, and narcissistic: what subtle irony? I want to see if it was intentional!
I am apparently a five-year-old.
Also, I used to think that eye shades were a bit over the top for sleeping in general, let alone air travel, but I’ve recently taken to sleeping in ‘em. I’ll have to try them on the plane for my next flight!
I’m generally not the type to chat on planes either. I bring 2 books, just in case I finish the first. However, the last time I was on a plane, I met this amazing and awesome woman. She crash coursed me in calculus, and I invited her to come out dancing with me sometime. Even though our time in the same area was really short (I just moved) it was great getting to know her. She is now actaully well integrated into my circle of friends, so I hear from her (and about her) with some regularity.
First of all, I am also a lover of logic puzzles, but I’ve never taken them with me on a plane.
I love overseas and when I go home for the summer, it’s an over-20-hour ordeal. I am chatty by nature and I can find something to talk about with … I’d say a good 93% of the population of the world. However, I also bring magazines (I love reading, but for some reason, I rarely read actual books on planes), my iPod, my journal, as well as an eye cover, earplugs, a neck pillow and socks. International travel is serious business.
I hope we never meet on a plane (or train or bus or ship or … anywhere really) because I would totally talk your ear off.