NTKOG #85:The kind of girl who, when she spots you in a room, acts on the mandate of destiny and, dude, honestly, kind of stalks you until you give her your number.
I am,: say it with me now, not dating.
I am not: like totally immune to the murmurs of fate.
The Scene: Brookline Booksmith, showing Kiss-Ducker around on the last night before she ends her visit and jets back to Barcelona. We head to the used books section downstairs and thumb through all the fiction novels; they’re light in Wodehouse, but Kiss-Ducker pauses to ask my opinion on an Evelyn Waugh novel. I’m telling her that Handful of Dust is a must-read (and now I’m telling you guys that too), when a man pushes between us, to hover in the W’s.
He is tall and broad-shouldered, wearing a motorcycle jacket with an asymmetrical collar and holding a Trader Joe’s wine bag; his hair and skin I can only describe as sun-kissed; he has just strode purposefully through the W’s. Wodehouse, Waugh, Wilde — who the fuck strides purposefully through the W’s? My goddamn soulmate, is who.
He seals the deal by saying a few words in praise of Handful of Dust, then lamenting that he has been prowling the city for a copy of “Scoop.” I may or may not stutter that I just got one, and we banter — we banter — back and forth about Evelyn friggin’ Waugh. Whose name the dude pronounces correctly, to boot!
To my credit, I refrain from proposing to him on the spot.
Sadly, he bounds upstairs before I can attempt to expand the conversation, and I give it up as a lost cause (dude with wine obviously is running somewhere), with Kiss-Ducker whispering for me to go for it. I tell her to grab her books and we race upstairs to stand behind him in line.
“This is a great bookstore,” I tell Kiss-Ducker, loudly enough for him to hear. “They bring all kinds of fantastic authors here. There was a two-block line for Lorrie Moore a few months ago.” HA! He turns around and looks curiously. Kiss-Ducker asks didn’t I tweet about that?, and I say, yeah, I was bummed not to get in, but I’d already heard her read that chapter back at PWCU.
Direct hit. On the second mention, Motorcycle Jacket of Destiny fully spins around, obviously eavesdropping on our conversation. Right about then he ends his transaction, and I bound to the door to intercept him:
TKOG: Look, I’m sorry, this is sort of out of the blue, but save me the trouble of posting a Craigslist missed connection later. You have completely awesome taste in books. Do you come here often?
Motorcycle Jacket of Destiny: Only when I’m walking by.
TKOG: I mean, yeah, that’s how people get places — you have to walk by. But I — look, I’m not coming on to you or anything, but I just moved here and I don’t know too many people. Do you want to grab a coffee sometime and talk Waugh?
MJOD: Uhhh, I have nothing to write my number with.
TKOG: No problem, she said, pulling out her iPhone a little too promptly.
MJOD: My hands are kind of full.
TKOG: I take dictation. [takes his number] Yeah, I’m not — don’t worry, I’m not actually doing to call you.
MJOD: Good luck. Happy New Year anyway.
The Verdict: Ouch, guys, was I covered with snow? ’cause, dude, he completely brushed me off. I’m going to assume it’s because he was taking the wine over to his girlfriend’s house, but man, usually people find me at least a little engaging in a hurricane-of-raw-intensity sort of way. Dude was just like not even having it.
Still, after sighing and cringing for a few minutes on the walk to Sister’s, I let Kiss-Ducker convince me that it was a good thing to try, and by now I whole-heartedly agree. Dude was wearing a fur-lined hat and buying Evelyn Waugh novels in bulk at my favorite bookstore — if I hadn’t said anything, chances are I’d end up on my death-bed, grandchildren on every limb, my rheumatic old eyes watering: ‘What if, what if, what if I had only spoken to that boy in the Brookline Booksmith and my life had been completely different?!‘
At least now I know for sure.
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Wow. “My hands are kinda full”? Lamest brush-off ever. You’re better off ;-)
Did you try “Live eyes” before the avalanche?
Dang! I knew I forgot something!
Congs, TKOG! Most women wouldn’t do what is still somewhat a men’s job! :)
And it’s just like you said: there’s no other way to know what’s gonna happen. You ought to try!
I agree, you’re better off :)
Happy New Year Girl! :)
I think so, too!
Happy new year!
Ehhh. He was probably gay anyways. Thats what I usually tell myself. Even if he wasn’t super responsive(because he has a gf or is gay,) I bet you totally made his day. How often do normal guys get hit on by smart, sober girls in the middle of the day!?
I definitely think you should try this again. I will too. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been regeretful about not talking to someone. I mean, who knows when your “serendipity” movie will play out? A little too far? perhaps. I’m a cheeseball!!!
Dude was adorable. It had to be done. Besides, if you hadn’t done it, we probably would’ve spent two hours at Sister’s house discussing his love and loveliness and lamenting the lost opportunity, and then where would we be?
Also, he obviously did find you engaging, since you guys bantered and all. I think he was probably just startled.
I’m going with the “he has a girlfriend” option, as he obviously thought you were interesting (how could he not?). Which in turn shows that he’s a good guy. Sorry it didn’t work this time, but I admire your gumption. I’m very lucky I don’t have to be brave in that particular area any more. I was never very good at it.
Also Just an FYI that I nominated you for an award on my blog. I’m sure you get these things all the time, but as your blog is my new addiction you’ve been saddled with me for a bit.
Oooh, thank you for the blogger award love! How sweet! I need to do a post soon where I give proper thanks for awards!
Also, my dignity thanks you for ascribing to the “has a girlfriend” theory. Although I guess it would be unfair of me not to mention that I looked pretty friggin’ horrible at the time. No make-up, fedora-covered rats nest of a hair-do, etc., etc. — sadly, my vote might have to go to the “dude, he probably thought you were homeless” faction…
Sounds like a bit of an arse to me.
But like you said, at least now you know!
His loss. Maybe one too many head injuries from the motorcycle.
Glad that you tried it though. Sometimes it feels like far too many people (myself included) are willing to just sit on the sidelines and watch a potential good thing pass them by because they don’t want to stick their necks out.
Definitely gay. What straight guy reads the W’s? I mean, seriously.
For the sake of my dignity, I definitely concur! I mean, jeez, the “W” might as well stand for “what, are you going to criticize my shoes next?!”
You are my new hero! I’ve never had a problem asking guys out, but I’m not sure I could’ve been as bold as you.
It was absolutely the right thing to do. Otherwise you’d have been wondering. And now you know. Oh, I vote, on his way to his girlfriend’s for dinner otherwise he would have been all over you.
i so agree!! i always feel super-stupid right afterwards, then SO MUCH BETTER later when i can just write off a guy instead of wondering / pining for the rest of eternity…
Haha, do you narrate yourself on a regular basis?
By golly though, for someone who’s not dating, like half your entries are boy-centric.
I’m definitely guilty of non-stop self-narration. I usually keep it to myself, but sometimes the moment feels right to inflict it on others.
Also, you’re right, I do seem to have lots of boy-centric posts! I think it’s because I know I’ve hit on a good NTKOG when I’m literally shaking a little with fear when I do it, and since this is the first time in my adult life being single, I guess boys still scare me!
Wow.. You know I could never do such a thing. I have been thinking since a long time to do at least something crazy, at least something even remotely out of character for me.. But I just don’t have the guts I guess.. or the imagination which would let me think of anything than curious manners people could die in..
I love the theme, I think I have a lot of reading to catch up on. #84 woh!
Once, decades ago as I wore my black bikini (so that means many, many, many, decades) I met this guy on Seven Mile Beach in Grand Cayman. The sparks flew BIG TIME. However, I was with your “dad” so it was a missed opportunity (for you). Of course, nothing came of it, nor would allow it to, but one always wonders.
Kind of reminds me of one of your stories, set on an elevator!
Now that’s another story.
How adorably bitter-sweet. And, honestly, how could anyone resist the wit of TKoG?
Hey lady -
I’ve been looking and looking and can’t find the post of yours about talking to men on the Subway. I read it last week and an hour later…a guy was hitting on me on the Metro. I tried the whole eyes thing. It. Worked. (Of course, I was rocking some great patent heels and had some cute artwork I was carrying home from the office. Both great conversation starters.)
Thanks for inspiring me to *almost* get a date from a hot dude on the Metro.
K
PS I can’t comment anymore from work. Sucky job.
Dude, public transportation guys are the best. Except when they are gross or pushy or neo-Nazis. So actually I guess what I’m saying is: they are, in the right circumstances, pretty okay.
Post about meetin’ a Dreamboat in the subway: http://notthatkindofgirl.net/2009/12/14/tkog-who-hits-you-with-her-digits/
Post about the glory of live eyes: http://notthatkindofgirl.net/2009/10/23/the-kind-of-girl-who-seduces-you-with-her-eyes/
I’m guessing the post you mean was one of those? If not, then I am a horrible toolbucket who just self-promoted ON HER OWN BLOG and I probably deserve never to be forgiven.