TKOG Who invests in herself

by That Kind of Girl on February 24, 2010

NTKOG #119: The kind of Stuart Smalley long-time listener who is good enough, smart enough and — gosh darn it! — willing to make the universe stand up and acknowledge it.

I am: pretty friggin’ awesome.

I am not: always the first to admit it.

The Scene: Right here, crumpets, in the mauve-plaided reflection of your corneas. Notice my site looking a little SPECTACULAR today?! (If you’re reading this on RSS, pop on over — it’s worth it!) All the credit and/or blame goes to the fabulous LiLu for designing my lovely new layout!

But TKOG, I imagine you saying, how much of a stretch can this be? You’re already a blogger! (And a damn fine one, you continue, as I glance away demurely, shying from your ceaseless praise… Whoa, wait, what were we talking about?)

The truth is, since I bought my own domain name, I haven’t spent a penny on this blog. It was always part of the master plan, sure, but I kept finding a reason to put it off. Once I have 250 daily readers, I told myself. Then, when that flew by, oh, I’ll wait until I have 150 RSS subscribers. But that wasn’t enough — surely by the time I have my first link to a big news blog, or my first giveaway, or, wait make that 500 RSS subscribers, or — no matter how many milestones came whizzing past, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’m not a REAL blogger. Not the kind of blogger worth spending money on.

But you know what? Screw that. Yes, I am a blogger. Yes, this blog is probably the biggest thing in my life. Yes, I earned my gorgeous new layout.

The Verdict: To express the so very yes of this situation, a short anecdote: For Christmas when I was 19 or 20, my mother ordered me business cards. They were cute — lime green and pink, probably my favorite color combination — and I adored them. But underneath my name was written: “Freelance Writer.” I carried those cards around with me for years, through many states and cities and phases, but I never gave one out because, dude, I may be many things, but a real writer? Not me. Not yet.

Yesterday, when I filled out my passport application, I looked at the field that said Occupation — the first time I’ve been confronted with that field since I left the comforting umbrella of “Student”. I stared at it for three long heartbeats before I typed: Writer. Yeah, me. Now.

Seriously, a thousand thank-yous to LiLu for creating this gorgeous layout! And bearing with me while I was A TOTAL BLOGZILLA slash my site had about nineteen anxiety disorders. If y’all are looking to get some design work done, I couldn’t recommend her more. A++ would frantically gchat with about name servers again.

ALSO, speaking of me being writerly [and tangentially, about me spending all day yesterday wanting to curl up under my desk and cry], check out Secret Society of List Addicts for my list of slightly ridiculous things I do to cheer myself up when life is an UNRELENTING SUCKFEST.

{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }

Marcelo February 24, 2010 at 8:50 am

Congs for the new layout! It’s very nice!

And you’re a awesome writer!

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LiLu February 24, 2010 at 8:50 am

Oh, my love, how I adore you. It was a pleasure, and absolutely one of my favorites I’ve done (shhh, don’t tell any of my other clients)…

xoxo!

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Amanda February 24, 2010 at 9:33 am

Oooo, pretty! Congrats!

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sandyb February 24, 2010 at 9:50 am

Gawd, is it possible to morph into one person anymore than we already do? Seems so. Just yesterday, last night, in fact, I posted the same question – am I a writer? Word nerds, as we are, are a contradiction of egoism and humility. We have a hard time admitting what we are, opting instead for saying what we do: “Oh, me? Well, I write.” We hide behind the verb. But write out a set of prose harvested right from the very center of our hearts and we can’t stop looking at it, aghast. That’s the ego. Writing isn’t easy and admitting that you’re “a writer” somehow implies that you’re on a level of awesomeness or something (or at least that’s the fear, isn’t it?). I call my husband a “musician”, yet he’s never been paid a cent for his work. I call my painter friend and “artist”, yet she hasn’t ever been commissioned to paint a darn thing. I have a friend with an expensive SLR. She takes pictures, nice ones. I proudly tell everyone that she is a “photographer”. Then why (oh why!) can we, pushers of pencil and notebook nerds, not just simply say: “Hello, my name is… and I am a writer.”

Thoughts, my friend?

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That Kind of Girl February 24, 2010 at 10:17 am

Amen, lady. Amen. Also, I love that we’re the same person. THIS IS WHY WE’RE GOING SKYDIVING TOGETHER! (No, seriously.)

You know what I think makes it especially difficult to call yourself a writer? Tons of people never touch a musical instrument or snap a camera or hold a paintbrush, so by simply doing one of those things — regardless of whether you do it well — you’ve differentiated yourself from the rest of the populace. But everyone writes. We write emails and grocery lists and notes to our loved ones. Ninety-nine percent of people even dream of writing a novel or at least a memoir. So to me, calling myself a writer sometimes seems like saying, “Yeah, I understand that you also occasionally play with words, but I guess I’m just better at it than you.”

But whatever. That’s not really what I’m saying. All I’m saying is that if I don’t write I’m going to die so I might as well let people know that upfront.

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Ashe Mischief February 24, 2010 at 9:51 am

Wonderful layout– I was skeptical towards Thesis at first, but I really love it now. (And I love how your links have that bubble box going on in the sidebars)

Oddly enough, I’m not one of those kinds of girls who toots their own horn either– except when I redesigned my site (on Thesis) at the beginning of the year. Then I couldn’t shut up about it.

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That Kind of Girl February 24, 2010 at 10:19 am

Dude, j’adore your layout! Especially that gorgeous header! If I were you, I would have been bragging it all over town too!

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Ashe Mischief February 24, 2010 at 7:14 pm

It’s all the Thesis ladybug! It gives us amazing layouts! We can’t help but stroke our own & each others ;)

(And thank you for the kind words– I realized afterward it came across as a “lookatmahsite!” which I totally DIDN’T mean it to be… but more of a “what is with our websites bringing out the ego in un-egotistical ladies?!”)

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Alison February 24, 2010 at 10:04 am

The new layout looks great! I think you have a real blog–the kind of blog that deserves its own domain name and an awesome layout.

And congratulations on the occupation!

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Elliott February 24, 2010 at 10:23 am

Love the new layout, though after my anxiety at not being able to read your posts yesterday, I’d be happy with plain black text on a white background!

Really need to check out that RSS reader thingamajig.

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Ken O February 24, 2010 at 10:25 am

As you say, you are pretty d@mned awesome, and believe me, that is a compliment!

Oh and you are that sort of girl who has people waiting for her next update with eager anticipation; that’s very definitely not just a blogger but a good blogger!

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Tara February 24, 2010 at 10:25 am

Love it. Great job LiLu!

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Mom February 24, 2010 at 10:42 am

Dear, although pleased that you are a writer, shouldn’t you aim higher and be an author? I LOVE the plaid, but that’s another story.

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Sarah February 24, 2010 at 10:58 am

Very pretty! I have website-envy. Though I have to disagree with your mother about “author” being higher on the ladder than “writer”. It’s different, but equal in it’s awesomeness.

Now, I have to go apologize to my mother for disagreeing with someone else’s…

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Mom February 24, 2010 at 11:26 am

My dear, you owe no one an apology for anything. We mothers need to push: it’s in our job description. Why be a nurse when you can be a doctor. We just don’t stop. Ask TKOG and Sister how to spell “Mom” and they will tell you in unison “N A G.”

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Elliott February 24, 2010 at 11:31 am

Mothers really are the best. I love that you’re here supporting your daughter every day, she’s a brilliant writer. But you knew that.

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sandyb February 24, 2010 at 12:54 pm

I second that. I’m a big fan of TKOGMOM. Big. Have you ever read her guest post about the TKOG conception? Hilarious. You can see where the wonderfully talented TKOG gets it from. (and I’m not sucking up here… I mean it, straight up, like vodka, only better.)

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Danielle February 24, 2010 at 12:35 pm

There’s plaid..? *stares puzzled at mac*

And congrats on proclaiming your writer status! Now it’s time to deduct everything from your taxes in the name of research!

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That Kind of Girl February 24, 2010 at 3:09 pm

For some reason, the plaid doesn’t show up on my work computer either! But when it does appear on computers it’s lovely, if I do say so myself! (And I’m going to go ahead and say I’m allowed to because LiLu is the one who brilliantly chose it…)

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Dave February 24, 2010 at 1:15 pm

I love your Mom for the writer/author distinction, however, her Doctor/Nurse analogy of course holds no water as plainly pointed out in “Meet the Parents”. :)

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Mom February 24, 2010 at 1:25 pm

Dave, dear. Were Gaylord Focker my son, trust me, he would have been a doctor. “Do NOT bury your talent” would have been so inbedded in his head that he would not have needed a pillow. Unfortunately little TKOG pushed her “Gray’s Anatomy” aside at age 6. Oh, I did try, dear, I did try.

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Dave February 24, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Thanks for making me laugh! It’s clear to me that you are the Mrs. Letterman of the Blogging world!

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Sister February 24, 2010 at 4:27 pm

Dave, my mom is completely serious. NTKOG still has that very edition of Grey’s Anatomy sitting on her bookshelf at the parents’ house. She ended up showing more interest in literature, and fun fact, one year she received three copies of “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare” by different people.

Luckily, this let me off the hook and I happily read Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys…

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That Kind of Girl February 24, 2010 at 4:30 pm

Just like Claudia Kishi!

That’s right — I remember begging for that copy of Gray’s Anatomy at the college bookstore at Pepperdine or UCLA or something, then deciding for all of two years that I would go to PWCU and become a pediatrician. Wrong on the latter count, but many years later I did end up going to PWCU…

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Dave February 24, 2010 at 6:36 pm

Sister,
I read all of the Hardy boys as a very young boy. In my late 20′s a business associate(that has shady written all over it doesn’t it?) Anyway he mentioned “Hardyisms”.
ever hear of it?
I just noticed. Great sentance structure.

P.S. NTKOG I just got home and your site does look good,my work computer does not pick up the graphics.

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The Ex February 24, 2010 at 6:59 pm

Oh, the plaid only shows up if the window is wide enough. I’m usually cramming as many multi-tasks into my screen real estate, so I normally wouldn’t have this blog any wider than it takes to read the text, but when I maximized it the plaid jumped out at the left and right.

People who can’t see the plaid, is that why? There’s also a thin ribbon of plaid if you scroll to the bottom of the page.

(I am That Kind of Debugger.)

Ken O February 25, 2010 at 4:07 am

Also being That Kind of Computer Geek, I’ve got plaid bands about 1/3 of the full design (from one narrow dark brown band to the next) wide showing either side of the text, displaying full screen on a 1280 x 1024 TFT.

stephanie February 24, 2010 at 1:23 pm

hi TKOG! your new look is bitchin’. seriously.

and you must share the awesome writing gene that my brother inherited. i look forward to your posts and am starting to think about some new things i want to try…get out of my comfort zone.

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Maureen February 24, 2010 at 1:29 pm

Totally worth clicking over for :) Very nice. Um, I know what you mean about the whole associating with being a writer thing. I’ve struggled with saying I’m a photographer instead of “an aspiring photographer” because I was doing it on the side of my regular 9-5 job. But whatever, I finally made some money off it and have a real website, etc and for all anyone else knows, I’m totally a photographer. But still, I don’t go telling that to everyone. Yet.
Anyway, rambling here, very nice new layout! And did I mention that I think you’re an awesome writer? It’s true.

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Wicked Shawn February 24, 2010 at 2:23 pm

The new site is lovely. aaaaaaaaaaaaaathe distinction being made between Writer and ……whateer we fill the other space with is, well, horrifying, isn’t it? Made worse by the fact that there are many out here blogging who do it well but aren’t writers or aspiring writers but just journaling thoughts on the interwebz. *sigh* Would all be much easier if my novel would just be published and my biz cards could read, “Published Author” . Or the Travel Mags would call with that super sweet offer to write about my Wicked Travels. :)

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Alice February 24, 2010 at 5:03 pm

it’s absolutely beautimous! i wouldn’t expect anything less from lilu after seeing her other work, though :-)

in other news, i am now DYING to repeat everything in italian accents, OMFG.

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Rae February 24, 2010 at 9:55 pm

You’re one of my blog heroes! (So bask in your bloggerness.) Love the new look! Definitely the inspiration I need for my facelift. :)

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Jenny February 24, 2010 at 10:03 pm

The new layout is unbelievably beautiful. Yay for you! Congratulations on your new Official Job as far as the Government Is Concerned. That is one of those things I am not yet enough close to being brave enough to do. :)

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Romantic Comedee February 25, 2010 at 12:20 am

I love the new look and you totally deserve it.

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Dating is My Hobby February 25, 2010 at 9:05 am

Um Hi. Your blog looks friggin amazing! I gotta talk to LiLu

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Kristen February 25, 2010 at 10:11 am

The new page is AWESOME! And congratulations on finally admitting what you are :) A Writer, a blogger, and a damn good one if I may say so.

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Amber February 25, 2010 at 11:24 am

I love the layout.

Writers have the hardest time calling themselves writers, so I did a slow-clap for you when I read this:

“I stared at it for three long heartbeats before I typed: Writer. Yeah, me. Now.”

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Erin @ Fierce Beagle February 25, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Very visually pleasing (said in a gross guy-at-the-bar-with-a-dirty-moustache voice).

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