NTKOG #130: The kind of sloppy, chemical-addled mess who’s so desperate to get her hands on a(n OTC) fix that she flouts every law of hygiene and common sense to do so.
I am: intensely squicked out by random stuff people leave on the street or public transport. Even if it’s just a receipt for gum, I tend to assume it has come in contact with every bodily fluid known to man plus a few on which scientists are still speculating.
I am not: all that big on taking pills anyway.
The Scene: Amtrak from Boston to New York yesterday, to spend the night with Justice and Muscles before Justice’s and my Barcelonan adventure. I was surrounded by probably the sketchiest crew I’ve ever seen on a train (imagine TKOG listening to a man narrate his ongoing lawsuits while ducking to avoid spastically reclining seatbacks, all accompanied by a veritable olfactory cacophony in which kimchi and foot odor were more than mere bit players) and that, coupled with the fact that 14mg nicotine patches are apparently too strong now, had bestowed upon me a soul-sucking headache.
As I frantically cast through my bags for any form of relief, I saw it, wedged into the seat:
You can't spell "relief" without ... some of the letters in Aleve. Now with extra bonus crusty patches.
My bloated mind raced: How long has it been there? The five-second rule has got to apply like DOUBLE to pharmaceuticals, right? What if it’s a cleverly disguised ecstasy tablet?! I really don’t want to rub up on kimchee guy. I could never live with myself if I–
GULP.
The Verdict: Not dead yet. And if taking abandoned medications makes me officially Street People? So friggin’ be it. Not that I’m planning on doing this again any time soon, but in another dire situation, screw propriety and other people’s opinions, I’ll do what I have to do. At least I’m earning the “resourceful” endorsement on my resume.
—
Another fantastic drug-related moment in the life of TKOG, in re: yesterday’s neti pot post:
I didn’t have a place for it in the post, but included with my neti pot was a miniature Ziploc bag filled with French sea salt. Tiny baggie. Designed to hold small portion. Of a white granular substance. You guys see where I’m going with this.
In order to get a pic for the post, I spilled some of the salt on the hand mirror I keep in the bathroom. Grabbed a razor blade I happened to have on-hand from an art project, cut a salt line and tried to take a few pics. Gave up after a few minutes because the combination of flash and mirror kept trying to eat the universe; left everything in the bathroom and started cleaning the apartment. Halfway through packing, started my Roomba and shut the bathroom door so he wouldn’t have a panic attack under the tub.
Twenty minutes later, of course, I’m running late for my train, grab my bags and fly downstairs with nary a second to spare for the final apartment check. On the way, I bump into my super – an elderly eastern European sweetheart who always blames my apartment repairs on my non-existent “strange men” visitors and reminds me to go to church – and tell him I’m going out of town for a few weeks, but can he pop in one day to fix the leak in my shower?
…yeah. I just realized.
Have a lovely weekend, y’all! The blog’ll be back on Monday with a full week of guest posts from a group of dudes whom I can say, not without bias, are probably the greatest people in the universe. GET PSYCHED!
{ 15 comments… read them below or add one }
Ok the pill- gross. The “coke”- hilarious. I can’t wait for the NTKOG who comes home from Barcelona to an apartment that has been torn apart by drug sniffing dogs. Haha
You should probably avoid any discarded pills in Barcelona. Try and bring back some contraband for the super.
Or TKOG who finds her building supervisor has been savaged to death by a Roomba!
Hahaha. Did your headache atleast get better? Please update on the state of your appartment when you return – have fun in Barcelona, ah-mazing place! :D
I just saw there’s another Tara who commented here. Cool.
OK, I am NTKOG who is a germophobe. Not at all. I’ll eat off the ground with a very generous five second (think thirty second) rule. Eat apples without washing them. Only clean my bathroom occasionally. But taking a random pill found on mass transit frightens the living fuck out of me.
Long ago, back in my Dating Musicians phase, my then-boyfriend, a very occasional recreational pill popper, was all excited because he and a friend had found some random pills at the bar–or perhaps more accurately, ON the bar–where they worked. They had no idea what the pills were, but they were going to take them anyway, because FREE MYSTERY PILLS! Score!!!
Me: That seems like… maybe not the best idea. You have no idea what they are? There’s no writing or anything on them?
Him: Oh yeah, there’s some writing, but we’ve never heard of it. I might look it up on the Internet or whatever.
Me: What does it say?
Him: Valtrex. I think maybe it’s a downer.
Me: VALTREX? Dude. That’s HERPES MEDICATION. You’ve only seen like 8,000 of their commercials. Apparently Valtrex enables the herpes afflicted to enjoy outdoor activities again.
Him: Oh. Crap.
Me: You thought you could get fucked up on herpes pills! Ha ha ha ha ha.
Him: Shut up. This sucks.
What I’m saying is, at least you knew you were taking Aleve. I’m pretty sure I’d snag a linty Excedrin from betwixt some cushions in an emergency situation.
Also, have an amazing time in Barcelona!
Now most NTKOG adventures I condone with a hearty laugh, but this could’ve been downright dangerous! I sound like a mother! What WILL your mother think of this? TKOG Mom, please post soon *hope*.
Thank you dear. Just had a lovely chat with TKOG by cell at the
currency exchange at JFK. She asked, ‘How many Euros should I buy?” My answer “500.” Response, “That’s the number I wanted to hear.” Watch out for my blog post next week, and thank you dear for making TKOM’s weekend.
Your supers name isn’t bobby, is it? I always get this weird weird feeling that you live right where I used to.. This oughta clear it up!
Nope!
Damn! That would have been a totally awesome coincidence.
OK, you are super brave girl! There is just no way I could have choked that down – no way at all!
Definitely NTKOG. An old debate TKOG and I used to have was about napkins in cafes/restaurants. When I find a neatly-stacked, unused-looking pile of napkins left on a table by a previous patron, I use them, which horrified TKOG. I assume that everyone does what I sometimes do — they take too many napkins out of the dispenser when they got their condiments or fountain drink or whatever, then at the end of the meal they have a number of unused ones, and rather than waste the sacrifice of a tree, they leave the napkins on the table when they leave.
Taking a pill.. wedged in a train seat… that’s like two whole levels above not wasting napkins.
Agree with the Ex. This NTKOG brought to you by the same kind of girl who needed me to turn the ketchup bottle so the drip down the side didn’t face her over brunch. There are levels of grossness (and I’m willing to concede that you think ketchup is gross) and you skipped a whole bunch of levels here.
Don’t they sell those lovely pills in the snack car on the acela these days? Those things are great (except when the credit card machine is on the blink).