Hey loves! I’m in Barcelona with Justice and Kiss-Ducker, drinking far too much wine at inappropriate times and otherwise being thoroughly outrageous. While I’m a negligent blogger, though, some of my absolutely favorite real-life people have written me pretty spectacular guest posts! Just … just don’t fall so in love with them that you aren’t happy when I come back, okay?
Today’s FANTASTIC post is written by Kelly, a chick so awesome that I once went to Sacramento. on purpose. on New Year’s. just to hang out with her and her sister. Also, she’s completely gorgeous, so you should probably write her some fanmail slash marriage requests in the comments section.
NTKO Guest Post: The kind of girl who kisses anyone who will take her, despite the fact that he would be grossed out by the sight of her naked body.
I am: friends with many gay men—they intimidate me a lot less than their straight counterparts. There is always the possibility of non-sexual underwear dance parties with them (even if they don’t usually come to fruition).
I am not: Grace Adler, or someone who is attracted to a gay man despite the fact that her love will never be reciprocated. (There are plenty of straight men out there to love unrequitedly!)
Imagine this with a side of margarita salt.
The scene: A hostel in Santa Monica, where I have agreed to meet Thiel, the gay man in question. Although we had never met in real life, I discovered his blog in 2006 when his “year of giving flowers to people” was featured on the livejournal homepage. 2010 is his year of kissing a new person every day and he asked his blog readers to contact him if they ever wanted to take part in the project. I desperately wanted to, but he lived in Australia. Despite this fact, I e-mailed him, “If you ever happen to be in LA, I’d love to lock lips.”
He wrote me back, saying that he was actually going to stay with his boyfriend’s mother in the Dominican Republic, and there would be a one-night stopover in Santa Monica when we could get dinner. Yes! I was stoked. At the age of 24, I have only kissed three men, so any man that expresses an interest in kissing me invokes far more excitement than it would in most 13-year-olds at a middle-school dance.
I drove to Santa Monica in probably the worst rainstorm I have ever seen in LA and got there a few hours too early. (Why was I acting like this was a job interview??) I poked around the Third Street Promenade for a while until the hour of reckoning was upon me. I walked into the lobby of the hostel and saw him and his boyfriend. “Hi, I’m Kelly!” I said with a little too much enthusiasm. He smiled and introduced himself and his boyfriend Julien.
“So how do you want to do this?” he asked me. “Do you want to kiss first or get dinner?”
“Um, uh…” I hemmed and hawed. I think he could tell I was a little nervous, because he stepped in and proposed we eat first. “Can we go to a Mexican restaurant?” he asked. “Julien and I have never eaten Mexican food before.” I couldn’t believe it.
We walked to a place I had seen earlier called the Border Grill and ordered margaritas first. Just what I needed—a little liquid courage. When the waiter asked if Thiel wanted salt on his glass, he said, “If that’s the way the Mexicans drink it.” I could barely contain my laughter.
After ordering guacamole, quesadillas, empanadas and tamales (none of which either of them had ever even HEARD about) and talking for a long time about his yearly projects, Thiel proposed that we have a “margarita kiss.” I took a large gulp of margarita as he walked over to the other side of the table and kissed me—a short, simple kiss with a tiny bit of tongue. I laughed, part embarrassed, part relieved, and shot a look over at Julien. He was smiling. Good thing, too—I was pretty sure he could take me in a fight.
We talked and talked over our Mexican feast. I was a lot more relaxed with the kiss out of the way. It was so interesting to finally ask a million questions I had acquired through three years of reading his blog. Meeting a complete stranger from the Internet was another thing I was NTKOG to do, but it was so much fun. Don’t listen to your parents! Not everyone on the internet is a rapist intent on seeing your severed head mounted on his wall!
After ending the night with Mexican hot chocolate and flan (I am definitely TKOG who asks to see the dessert menu “just in case”), I walked the couple back to their hostel and asked Thiel for another kiss. “I want to make sure I do it right this time,” I said. We shared another sweet, short kiss. I stepped back from him and said, “I probably won’t be the best kiss you have this year, but I do want to set the record for giving you the most kisses in one day.” I then pulled out a bag of Hershey’s Kisses from a grocery bag that I had been carrying around all night.
The Verdict: The actual kiss itself made me a bit sad—usually, when you kiss someone, it is leading somewhere (even if it’s just, as my mom calls it, “heavy petting”). As I strode out of the hostel, my hormones were screaming at me, “What?? A kiss and then nothing?? What a gyp!” I had to agree with them. I will definitely not be making a habit of kissing gay men, no matter how beautiful they are. (Rest in peace, dream of kissing Kyan from “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.”)
However, the actual experience of meeting up with a really awesome stranger who I had felt like I had known for years, introducing him to a new cuisine, kissing with a mouthful of margarita, gifting chocolate—those are all things I would definitely want to do again. Hopefully with someone who likes boobs.
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And to check out the experience from his point of view (I’d want to if I were you), here’s his entry about locking lips with Kelly.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
What an utterly fabulous experience. Interesting, I lightly kiss my male friends on the cheek in a gesture of affection, but a real kiss tye kiss would be disconcerting knowing it was a road to nowhere. I love this post! I especially love that you gave him the bag of Hershey’s Kisses. Great touch!
the hershey kisses :) aww.
So sweet! What a great story.
And I love that your mom uses the phrase heavy petting. Honestly, we should bring that phrase back in style.
Ref verdict, para 2 – I like trying new cuisines, drink (and drink-flavoured kisses), chocolate, and boobies! :twisted:
Awww the hershey kiss thing was super cute.
Love this!! I used to have a “kissing buddy” in college, who was a fabulous bisexual (but mostly gay) man that was a great kisser. There was sexual chemistry, but we both just loved to make out. And make out we did. At parties, in the hallways of dorms, just for the hell of it, cause it was so damn fun. I loved that there was zero pressure for something to come of it, and that it wasn’t going any further.
Dear, your mother is my kind of a girl. Petting breaks down to “petting” (above the waist) and “heavy petting” (everything else but…). I believe I have my original “book” and I found TKOG’s and Sister’s which I made them read an initial. Suspect Sister initialed without reading. The Internet is a wonderful tool. I met and married TKOG’s birth certificate dad in London many years ago. Had the Internet existed god knows where I would have ended up…..Pluto? Beautiful blog entry. You make a mother proud. (Oh and I know that Mexican restaurant well. TKOG and I ate and drank there last year.)
what an interesting experiment thiel is doing!! i love that you got to participate, and the hershey’s kisses were just adorable :-)
Kelly, you know how jealous I was when I found out you had 1) kissed a bonafied cutie 2) who is Australian (swoooooon!) 3) that also happened to be gay. I’m sure Thiel was practically panting on the inside — your kisses are spectacular (drunk Jenga anyone?)!
Is this normal tabletop Jenga, or “giant Jenga” like you sometimes see in bars? If the latter, I know a variation called “kick Jenga” which plays normally except that you have to loosen a block enough to get both hands on one end by kicking it. Not easy after a few, ah, sherbets!
That sounds awesome! I’ve seen 5ft. tall Jenga games made from 4x4s and I’ve always wanted to jump in. But this is a game created from the regular tabletop Jenga set. Two dares or two truths are written on each block making it either a “dare block” or a “truth block”. When you pull one out, you have to one of the two options on the block.
Example: I pull out a (dare) block that says “Fake an orgasm” on one side and “Give a lapdance to the person to your right” on the other. I can choose to do either one, so I fake an orgasm.
Ah, I hope that made any semblance of sense!
That makes sense yes, so we’ve both described a different variation on normal or giant Jenga.
I especially liked this post, and honestly, it was one of the few times a blog made me feel a bit better about myself. Kelly- as another 24 year old southern Californian youth with little experience in this ‘realm,’ it was comforting to know that there are females around here in a similar boat and I’m not the one guy on the planet over 20 with about as much experience as a 1940′s teenager. I’m glad to hear girls like you still exist (though I wish met more of them when I’m in Santa Monica!)
Extra points for the candy, too. :)
Oh my gosh, your comment is so adorable! I just want to give you a hug! Also, I’m pretty sure you and Kelly should grab a drink and guest-post for me about it.
SEB, dear, I do not wish to be a harsh credit, but you do have the power to ask girls out. You just have to start asking and eventually one will accept a date with you. Don’t be put off by these overly aggressive women that you see in films. Start by asking a nice, quiet girl to coffee. If she turns you down then try another. Once coffee/tea is accepted then try a movie (chick flicks are well received) with coffee or ice cream afterwards. Oh, and please pay for the date. Be sure to call by Wednesday for a Saturday date. Always be prepared for rejection, but keep asking. It is your god given right to ask women out….so get going. Shy girls are awaiting your move. Find one, dear and make her day.
never thought it would happen, but I actually disagree with TKOMom…
Asking girls out has always seemed like a waste of time to me because (and this has been widely agreed upon by TKOG, J, and KD in Barcelona) did you know that girls will most likely go on a date with you even if THEY’RE NOT INTERESTED?!? Seems pretty sick to me, but I don’t think a date is the best way to meet a girl. Stick your tongue in her mouth, and if you both like it, then go on a date.
Respectfully,
Muscles
Muscles, dear, you are not a sensitive romantic like SED. How can a girl decide if she likes you if you do not go out together? A cup of tea never hurt any relationship.
You cannot go up to a girl and thrust your tongue down her throat. That’s sexual harrassment and/or potentially rape.
Actually, dear your suggestion is disgusting and I am very ashamed that you dare to give SED that advice. You need the three second rule when you write a response. Think…wait three seconds…reflect “What would Dear Abby (the old one not the new one ) say? Then respond.
The only exception being is if you are in a bar in Boston or New York during St. Patrick’s Day–then all bets are off.
Very interesting experience and very well written. The hershey kisses were a nice touch to. Sorry you didn’t get your “heavy pet” on.
There could have been a perfect conclusion to this, and it would have been Thiel suddenly breaking into the chorus of this song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DLt5n0auPwM#t=33s
Oh man, I so do the little treats thing. I thought I invented that! ;D
Hey i don’t know how i got here haha but that´s a nice story…
I’m starting to think gay guys love kissing girls… I know this guy who’s gay, we used to go out with a group of friends, and he kept flirting with me. I thought he wasn’t serious at first, but at one point he just grabbed me and kissed me… and i have to say, it was HOT. haha, since then everytime we’re out and a little drunk, it’s make out time…. kissing is fun…