What with all the boozin’ and the barrin’ and the Barcelona, I’m full of youthful effervescence today, but check out Secret Society of List Addicts for a list of things that make this vivacious and carefree youth feel nigh ancient. Fortunately, Golden Girls is experiencing a cultural moment right now, so it didn’t make the list!
NTKOG #133: The kind of paradoxically insecure/arrogant wannabe celebrity who bribes dudes into having her back to make her seem cooler.
I am: doing pretty okay in the ineffably cool department.
I am not: even capable of contemplating the full range of Vinny Chase’s heart-stopping-ness, let alone emulating it.
The Scene: Small Irish pub in Barcelona, overflowing with ex-pats and St. Patty’s lead-up joie de vivre. They were throwing a standard Sunday karaoke night, so the girls and I figured we’d practice for our rock star moment.
The way the stage was set up, there was about ten feet of standing/dancing room before tables started — the same are that, in concerts in movies, is used as “swoon space”. As we nursed our drinks, one particular British guy came on to sing no fewer than three times, and every time he did, wore a look on his face that made it plain he considered he was giving the natives a treat.
You know the kind of guys I’m talking about. Good looking, but not that good looking; charming, but not that charming; quite good voice but, dude, not a Pavarotti. You could tell that whenever he walked, he did so with the hope of being DISCOVERED — for what, it’s unclear. I thought it would be funny, though, to make his dreams come true: stand in the swoon space during one of his songs and sway and point and sigh with cartoon hearts in my eyes.
Unfortunately, the other girls vetoed it as being a little mean (me?! mean?!) so I sat chastely, turning the idea of groupies over in my mind. Then. THEN. Everything else was pushed from my mind entirely when I saw this amazing spectacle! (Watch the guy, not the girl):
You guys! He is seriously the best dancer I’ve ever seen! Justice sums up all of our feelings at :28 in the video. And a great brainwave: anyone can get some lame schmuck to be a groupie, but the ultimate test of cool? Having a groupie who on his own is cool enough to get groupies!
We begged him to come back-up dance for our next song, and after a few moments, he agreed, in return for our dancing throughout the bar to get people excited for his own upcoming song. Um, as easily said as done. Twenty minutes later, Justice and I were called to hash Aly & AJ’s “Potential Break-Up Song” to death and there, in the swoon-space, we were outshone by the greatest back-up dancer known to man.
How good was he? Unfortunately, I can’t post the video for a variety of reasons, but I can tell you that his dancing was so superlative that he managed to do both of the following moves and MAKE THEM SEXY:
Oh my heart!
The Verdict: So as a back-up dancer, our Slovakian friend didn’t actually help elevate our fame rating (my own dancing is usually enough to confuse and mesmerize the general populace); as a self-esteem boost? Having a groupie — even a fake groupie — is one of the all-time great rushes. Let alone one who dances like a quirky hipster god. A++.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
that guy sure can vogue. I do wish, however, that you had been able to find someone to backup dance for you like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bytf3gZMFkY
start at 20 secs or so
WHAT?! How is it that the way he dances is cool and the way I dance is lame and embarrassing?! They are not that demonstrably different! I am shaking from the injustice of it all.
So he was a Slovakian who works so much on his dancing that he is completely out of date on his American politics…….clearly.
At least he’s got moves? And beer……..
Good to know that you ARE the kind of girl who’s secure enough to compare herself to Vincent Chase (even if you did claim you’re not as cool as him).
I enjoyed the whole post, and you did a nice job of evoking the hilarious kind of crowds you get in both karaoke bars and ex-pat frequented establishments. The kind of people who, as you said, are waiting to get discovered, but for what, we’ll never know….
Come to think of it, nobody ever dances behind Vinny Chase. They just try to get his autograph or try to fuck him. Poor guy.
oh man, it is my DREAM to inspire someone else to spontaneously dance during a karaoke performance. siiigh. the dream remains elusive.
There should be more reasons to do GOB’s chicken dance. It would make the world a better, funnier place.
I have seen that episode of Arrested Development so many times and that dance still cracks me up. I miss that show.