NTKOG #154: The kind of new-fangled self-help guru who charts her daily success as a citizen of the universe who can’t see why there isn’t an iPhone app for personal enlightenment.
I am: kind of a self-helpy dude at heart. In case this blog hadn’t tipped you off.
I am not: ignoring the fact that the self-helper has a fool for a guru. But a cheap fool!
The Scene: MY FRIGGIN’ HEART, GUYS. Which was pumping blood to my eyes while they perused a back issue of O Magazine, wherein the Self-Help Empress dished stage-candidly about her regrets, the ways she sabotages herself, and — her pet topic — how to live your best life.
Reading the interview, I was arrested by one question: “How do you know what you’ve had a good day?” She gave some radiant/glib Oprah-y response, but when I tried to answer it myself — nothing. “I just. I just hope I have, I guess.”
This started me thinking about a hole I’ve felt in my life lately. I’m not a super big religious dude and am no great hand at gratitude journaling; this blog captures anecdotes of my day but ignores whole swathes of my daily existence; I blaze through some days, enchanted, hitting all the high notes, then look back a few weeks later and can’t even remember the tune. What I needed was a way to take daily stock of my actions and clear my mind for ten minutes to reconsider my place in the universe and my motivations to take that place.
What I came up with was the Daily Self-Satisfaction Survey. It’s basically a daily Yelp review of whether I was an acceptable human being. A journal entries comprised of eleven questions for which — on a great day of my life — I would have completely awesome answers.
As it stands right now, my questions are:
- In what way have I contributed to my personal excellence today?
- What did I create today?
- How did I reach one new person today?
- Who did I tell I loved today?
- Who did I love without telling?
- What did I go out of my way to do for someone else today?
- What art did I love today?
- Who or what inspired me today?
- What was today’s small, good thing?
- How happy am I with my progress today?
- What lesson from today am I going to take into tomorrow?
It’s been about two weeks since I started this project and I haven’t missed a day so far. After all, it only takes ten minutes, and who doesn’t love filling out a survey?! I can think of dozens of other questions I’d like to include (what nice thing have I done for my body today?, what opportunity did I miss today?) and might edit it in future, but for now, I’m satisfied.
So far, reading over the daily results has revealed some trends I usually try to keep myself from seeing. Turns out I’m pretty hard on myself for stealing writing time for petty needs like sleeping or having a social life; this doesn’t surprise me. I’ve also started drawing much of my daily inspiration from music, which does.
Some of the questions are consistently hard to answer; others reveal that I’m taking greater personal strides than I give myself credit for. Probably the most important thing is to realize that even though my daily schedule offers little variation (home, work, coffee shop, repeat ad infinitum), my days are different from one another, and each holds the potential for personal greatness.
The Verdict: Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a stressed-out nutjob for a statistically significant portion of the day. But now a quantifiable one! And a slightly more self-accepting one.
What questions would y’all ask yourselves in order to determine whether you’ve had a productive, happy day?
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
nice post!
Mine isn’t a daily question, but more of a self-check:
Would I be excited to meet myself.
All it’s meant to do is keep me out of a rut and try, learn, or do new things.
What new idea did I meet?
You say friggin almost as much as T-Rex in Dinosaur Comics does. Your writing style sometimes seems a lot like the comic writer’s also. Future husband in Ryan North?
http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1694
haha, I love Ryan North. I get the T-Rex comparison all the time in real life. I talked like this before I started reading Dinosaur Comics, but I think the influence has definitely intensified my T-Rexiness. Also, fun fact: Ryan North once actually dedicated a Dinosaur Comic to me. I made a YouTube vlog a few years ago saying I wished I had the wherewithal to say “dudes” without worrying about people judging me, and he somehow found it and was amused by it.
Also, clearly I have made great strides in my personal comfort with the word “dudes”.
I really liked this post. Also, dude–A Dino Comic was dedicated to you?! Nice! I would so love a Questionable Content dedication though I really have to catch up on my QC archives.
Anyway, is it wrong that I thought this post was going to be about abstaining from self love? I was thinking along the lines of Seinfeld and Master of Your Domain, etc. Hehe.
I use this blog entry as my daily prompt “did you have a productive day”
http://www.productiveflourishing.com/4-questions-to-ask-yourself-everyday/
The linked questions are fairly new to me.
Before I counted my days as ‘good’ usually by default. I lived and I hopefully laughed.
P.S. I think this blog entry has trumped my linked entry. I liked your daily prompts better :)
Dude, taking advice from a woman who dated John “Whispering Firestorm” Tesh? Shame on you.
Oh please, he was totally bearding her. Lady O is completely asexual! Her career is her lover.
I watch “the biggest loser” on TV sometimes and I actually always pause and think when they sing the theme song “What have you done today to make you feel proud?” it’s a good question.
Dear, this entry is a little too “self helpy” for me to understand. Where are the imporant listings like buy eggs, return library books, pay electric bill?
I’ve never read a Dino comic book, but recently I bought a National Enquirer with Oprah, Gayle and Stedman on the cover. Gayle moved in as Stedman moved out. Allegedly Oprah and Gayle will have separate bedrooms. Who knew?
I don’t buy eggs or get books from the library and my bills are all direct deposit. Don’t worry, though — “Call Mom” is always at the top of my priorities list!
On the mirror in my bath are some simple words scrawled in rather lovely red lipstick. It was purchased just for the writing, the words:
Forward progress
One random act
One kind word
One hard truth
Ten minutes alone
One new artist
If I walk into my bathroom at night and I start to wash my face and realize I have missed one, I turn and make a call, fire back up the laptop, whatever it takes to complete the day. I began this back in January, about the same time I began my blog. It feels good. Enjoy yours, it’s much more in depth and self exploratory.
I love that! What a great list, and such a vivid way to remind yourself of it! That’s awesome!
Aww I like this! How did you come up with the questions? I’m pretty sure all of my answers would be “ummm.. more tomorrow..”
But maybe having them there would be inspiration to try harder…
Do I want to take a hammer to anything in the lab?
Am I so burned out or depressed that I want to sleep for a straight month?
Negative answers to both questions are indicative of a good day. :)
Ha, bleak, dude. Although the day I came up with this survey, I’d just seen Fight Club for the first time with Anglophile. As I watched Ed Norton beat the bloody snot out of himself, I thought: “God. That looks — relaxing.” Which was my first hint that maybe I needed reconsider the way I’d been proceeding with my life…
This kind of self-helpy stuff is right up my alley. As in, I just printed the list of questions. Love this.