NTKOG #155: The kind of fashionable philanthropist whose weekends are a cocktail of one part Good Deeds, two parts yuppie smugness, and one part SEQUINS.
I am: trying to be a good person.
I am not: as motivated as I should be about stealing away writing time to traipse about the community, making good. That’s what high school kids are for, right?
The Scene: The Simmons College Health Center, which had been transformed for the afternoon into a boutique in which Boston high school girls who might not have the means could select their perfect prom dress. The dresses were provided by donations from the community for the Belle Of The Ball program, which has been giving girls high-school fairytale moments for six years now.
Sister signed us up as personal shoppers as part of the BU Global Day Of Service, and when the two of us reported to duty, we couldn’t have been any giddier. I’ve heard prom dress donation drives elicit a snort or two from critics (it’s like donating caviar to a food bank!), but I’m a huge supporter. Cheesy but true: senior prom was the only dance I attended in high school, and the whole magical night is wound in a film canister in my brain. I don’t play it often, but what girl doesn’t treasure memories of feeling like (gosh!) a princess?
As each high-school girl entered the gym, she was paired with a personal shopper who helped her pick a few options from the racks sagging with hundreds of candy-colored dresses. Once she’d found The Dress, she picked through donated shoes, jewelry, and make-up, then was photographed in all the prom-y frippery.
Being surrounded by all the promware briefly made me want to be 17 again so I could prom it up. Then I remembered actually being 17 and chuckled grimly.
Sister and I teamed up to help our first “client,” who had her heart set on a tulle-rustling pastel Gone With The Wind gown. As she – flanked by her mother and sister – tried and discarded nearly a dozen dresses, her spirits started to flag (we’ve all been there, right, ladies?). Sis and I ran downstairs, taffeta gowns stacked up over our eyes, to sweep through the racks again, and when we came back with tentative offerings, gasped.
In our absence, the girl had found The Dress, where it had hung neglected on a rack. Pastel blue, heavy with sequins, the kind of frothy concoction a girl only gets to wear once or twice in her life. We gushed that she looked exquisite and asked her to twirl. While she turned, her face stayed forward, eyes locked on the image in the mirror until the last possible second, when she whipped her head back around like a prima ballerina.
We hung back discreetly while she and her mother discussed the merits of silver shoes and various earring lengths, then I escorted her to the corner of the room to take the first of, I hope, many gorgeous photographs in The Dress.
The Verdict: I am of course not blind to the fact that much of the purpose that volunteering opportunities like this serve is to assuage the middle-class guilt of dudes like me (and subsequently torment them for feeling so mock-virtuous). Please don’t think I’m congratulating myself. I went there as little more than a tourist into one of the shallower valleys of the human experience. But it fills my heart to bursting that programs like Belle of the Ball, aided by generous donations from the community, can come together to do a small, good thing in hundreds of lives. And it inspires me that an act as simple as donating a prom dress (seriously, when were you ever going to wear tulle again?!) can be transmuted, as though by magic, to a shy smile, a giddy twirl, a cherished life-long memory.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
What an awesome way to spend the day!
Don’t dismiss the impact that you and your sister had on those girls that day. Your Mom, I’m sure, is beaming. :)
Quite right, Dave dear. I am so very pleased that Sister and TKOG give back to their community and I’m even happier that they have taken this year to get to know each other as adults. Prom seems trival, but it is an important rite of passage for the American teenager. One has to keep the karmic flow circulating.
There were a few teenage moms with their kids in the room, and it was a humbling moment when you realized that for once they actually got to do something for themselves.
That being said, after the event TKOG and I went to Best Buy and promptly bought “17 Again” (shocker: I didn’t own it already!) and we giggled for the rest of the night while watching Zac Efron rock his GAP 3/4 length sleeves and tight fitting pants. ::swoon::
Prom was, too, the only high school dance I ever attended. I also asked my date. Um. Terrifying. Part of me wishes I would have worn a poofy explosion of tulle and charmeuse in some near-blinding color rather than the $50 black cocktail dress I chose. When else am I going to ever get a chance to don a fashion faux pas like that and get away with it? Although, there was an 80s prom party/concert not too far back…
But good on you for volunteering to help these girls have that sparkly milestone! Although it wasn’t exactly the fairytale night Disney channel and Seventeen magazine were trying to feed me, it’s something that I look back on with an air of naive nostalgia.
AWESOME.
I wanted to donate a couple dresses I had, then I realized, I didn’t have them anymore? I know I didn’t throw them out. Maybe I donated them last year?
Aw. Even though I hate the prom as an institution, and think of it less as a night of golden wonderment and virginity losing and more of a lesbian hating “Carrie”-fest, I liked this post. Ya done good! I like that you got to be fashionable AND help girls who might not ordinarily have a great prom. I think Tim Gunn would approve and isn’t that always the mark of a good deed? :)
oh FUN! what a nice thing to do :-) i wonder where my prom dress is these days? it was re-used at several college functions, then hand-me-downed to my sister, and probably is not so much in the shape to be reused again at this point.
also, um, i went to prom sort of a long time ago and it’s unlikely someone still wants that dress.
Awww! I have zero fond memories of my prom (and many, many un-fond ones), but this post still made me feel warm and fuzzy.
My junior prom dress was flowy, floor-length, deep purple, and sparkly with an open back and a matching wrap. I loved it and actually wore it twice after that: to my first-ever theatre production (The Nutcracker) and then to an opera at the Met.
(I’ll also get to wear my wedding dress [which is silk, not tulle, and non-shiny ivory] twice, since we’re having parties in both the US and Spain!)
Good on you guys for helping those girls pick out dresses that make them feel pretty!
In a world that goes out of its way to reach out and slap young women with the message that they are ugly and worthless, feeling beautiful in a prom dress is not trivial at all. I’m glad you got to bask in the glow shed by The Dress.
My prom dresses are collecting dust in my dad’s spare bedroom. One of them has way too much poof for me to even consider bringing it home with me, and I don’t know what I’d do with it anyway. Do you know if there are other branches of this group, say, in other parts of the country? I’d love to donate mine to a girl who might not otherwise be able to have one. Prom might be cheesy and ridiculous but it’s one of those Things and nobody should have to miss it because they can’t afford a dress.
That’s awesome! I’ve heard of events like this in tons of cities — if you google “prom dress donation drive” + your city’s name, I’ll bet you’ll find something!