NTKOG #206: The kind of clear-headed minimalist who, negating every packrat urge in her little lizard-brain, de-clutters her life of things that she, well, still kind of wants.
I am: a slave to nostalgia in no area more prevalently than my jam-packed closet, computer and social life.
I am not: even good at cutting ties with things I don’t like.
The Scene: My lowly, wretched life, which is currently a minimalist horror flick. The whole point of my move to Boston, if you’ve been following along at home, was to live a monkish life. Free myself of everything, good and bad, that was holding me down – including, but not limited to, friends, hobbies, and material possessions.
Although I was doing well, inevitably fell back on my old gatherer ways. So, in order to sweat out my need for personal change, decided to sacrifice three things I really, really wanted – but didn’t need.
Sacrifice the first: My bulging bookshelves, which I love with the full weight of my soul, and which are heck no not all coming with me when I move next year. Though I remember with joy every purchase, and intend to (eventually) read every book on it, I have a library card now. Goodbye, old unread friends.
Get thee to the Booksmith! For money I will probably spend on ice cream that I enjoy while reading other books!
Sacrifice the second: Get back, all thee mangy faux friends on Facebook! As of yesterday morning, I had approximately 660 Facebook friends. Of these, I divide them into five groups, based on the reaction I have when looking at their profiles: 1) “Who are you?!”; 2) “Oh yeah! What’s that guy up to anyway?”; 3) “That jerk always makes me feel so underaccomplished”; 4) “That muttonhead always makes me feel like a Nobel Laureate”; 5) “Oooooh, any new shots in her modeling portfolio?”
And, look, I’m not a zen monk here, so I kept people in the last three categories. But as for the 105-and-counting in the first two categories?
I think this girl was in my Russian class one year and made a truly terrible vegan chocolate cake for the end of term. Is she married now? Does she have kids? Quarter ownership of a local steakhouse? Don't know and don't care!
Sacrifice the third: My beautiful fingernails. Remember that time that I had to be dragged, clawing and shrieking, to get my first manicure? Well, my egregious bad, guys, ’cause it turns out I loved it. LOVED IT. Every since the first one, I’ve been growing out my nails to sleek, lustrous magnificence, springing on weekly or bi-weekly manicures, and spending many happy evenings at home buffing and polishing with my increasing collection of nail varnish.
All day, I’d gaze happily at how the nails feminized my bear paws. Manicurists would always exclaim over how strong and gorgeous the nails were, then show my finished hands to helpless sitters-by. Yes, finally, after 23 drab years on this planet, I had discovered one small physical vanity. One miniscule thing about my body that was just for me, that I could really, really love.
So of course I had to kill it.
Three months of passive effort destroyed in ten fast clicks.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
I would claw someone’s eyes out for nails like that. Or at least I would try and fail miserably on account of my measly, flaky misshapen attempt at fingernails.
But giving away books is great, I always feel like I’m setting them free. As though they are my literary wards who I have released into the world to seek their destinies.
Or something like that.
Eff you and your perfect nails. Even after you snip them off they are more beautiful than my, previously thought, beautifully manicured hands. That’s right. Your short anti-manicure beats my proper mani any day.
When I lived in Italy, I had to sell all my books when I was moving back to Canada and it broke my heart. And I think I only got rid of… 7. I remeber being 30lbs over my limit and I know it was all books. I haven’t gotten rid of a book since and I don’t think I ever will. Ever.
Also, please bring the manicure back. I loved thinking that you were just a touch vain.
Ha, my shorn nails and I thank you! I was joking about this with Justice the other day: my only enviable physical traits are exceedingly weird ones. To wit: large nailbeds and skin that holds a decent year-round tan. Well, and I used to have beautiful skin, but it doesn’t like the water in Brighton very much, so now I’m getting all those ugly stress pimples I somehow missed out on during adolescence…
I’ll admit, it was nice being a little bit vain. I might let them regrow after this shearing. Although now that I’ve had a taste of physical piety, I’m thinking of attacking my other big vanity (my curly hair) and donating to Locks of Love, which has been a life-long dream of mine. If I do, though, that’ll DEFINITELY be a NTKOG, ’cause it would leave my hair about four inches long, which will look godawful with my round face.
I don’t think I could ever get rid of a book. My parents still have all of my picture books–which I fully plan on claiming once I have a permanent residence of my own. I’ve vowed to buy more used or clearance shelf books. That way, I feel like I’m saving them from a life of sadness and giving them the love and shelf space that they deserve.
The only other time I’ve ever gotten rid of books was giving a few boxes to a local library when I moved from California to Boston. Even then, though, of my four hundred or so books in California, I donated maybe seventy, gave thirty more to friends, and shipped the rest back to my parents’ place in Nevada. Well, plus the entire six-foot shelf’s worth that I paid to have shipped here.
Also? Completely don’t regret it paying the ridiculous shipping fees. I reread books all the time, and every book is imbued with the magic of the first time you read it! Like, I know Dostoevsky’s Poor Folks is basically the same in every edition (translation pending) but OF COURSE I want to keep the copy that I curled up with and wept over on a grassy hill during one gorgeous day of undergrad! Books are memories! Books are friends! Books are everything!
Anyway, it heartens me to know that the piddling ten books I’m selling/donating might end up with an awesome life-long reader like you!
I have the same problem with books, and so do at least half the people I know and have ever discussed book ownership with. Hey, at least you know you’re far from alone on that one.
Also, ref your nails if I may. The “before” picture looks more sophisticated sure, but the “after” one still shows a set of lovely, glossy well manicured nails.
Dude I deleted my facebook in December and it was by far the best thing I have ever done. I will admit I get into thinking I should reactivate it when I’m bored out of my skull/ wonder what someone is up to, but I figured everyone I really need/ sort of want to talk to, I have their number. Suuuuuuch a good feeling to have no facebook at all!
Dude, you’re awesome! I keep thinking of doing it, but it’s such a big step, and there are a few people I primarily keep in touch with through facebook. (You know, the class of sort-of friend one visits every time one goes home for Christmas…)
Maybe I’ll take the plunge with a temporary account deactivation, though! It certainly couldn’t hurt my quest to become a slightly better person, right?
How about this as a compromise? – Post on FaceBook that you are deleting you account, and ask all those interested to send you their email addresses. That way, when you go home for Christmas you can get in touch with old friends…or not, if they didn’t respond.
what’s next on my purge list?
I need to make some big decisions about my life…Where to live? Where to work?
Next year?! You’re moving?! I hope not.
Hopefully moving! Applying to MFA programs in every city in the country except Boston and San Francisco. (Not that I have anything against either city, obviously, but they don’t have any MFA programs I’m interested in.)
Speaking of Facebook friend purging, my new rule of thumb for deleting “friends” is if I was in the grocery store and saw them, would I say hello or mad avoid? If I didn’t have the motivation/nerve to say hello, then … click, delete!
YES! I can’t believe I forgot to mention it in the post, but my rule was a variation on that (with exceptions to allow schadenfreude stalking): if I saw them on the street, would I say hi? Would I even recognize them?
Interesting to read this now. I just moved into a new apartment and it’s a studio so it’s not like I have tons of room for the ridiculous amount of stuff I’ve accumulated over the past 26 years. I’m sort of in a major purge of my own though not with any specific thing, just stuff in general. Well, maybe clothes.
I’m thinking it’s time to donate some books. It’s maybe a little weird that books for children currently way outnumber books for adults on my shelves. Not that I’ve even unpacked most of my books but I know the trend will continue. The trouble is I just can’t get rid of books.
i did this twice in the last year, moving from big apartment to small, then small apartment to sublet/new pared-down life. i managed to get most of my things into a rented SUV. it’s been strangely freeing, if a little dizzying, to be this stripped of possessions. we’ll see how long i can keep this going…
Wow, I am impressed. I have (only) 1 bookshelf stacked three deep. Despite moving twice in the last year I cannot bring myself to purge the bookshelf.
Wow! I’m impressed with everyone getting rid of their books and other stuff…in comparison, I guess I’m just lazy!
You’re strong! Getting rid of things you like, it’s not easy at all!
Dude I’ve moved countries far too many times in the last few years, and every time I move I have to get rid of my books. If I live somewhere more than 3 months you know I’ve got a decent library started! And every time I have to get rid of them, it absolutely still breaks my heart. You’d think I’d learn, but no. Although I have to say I agree with Magnolia in that it’s strangely freeing to be so stripped of possessions, and to know that I can fit my entire life into one (admittedly overstuffed) suitcase.