TKOG Who spills her biggest secret (but not to you)

NTKOG #211: The kind of guilt-wracked secret-keeper whose innermost thoughts are suitable for publication and/or framing.

I am: obsessed with secrets, both as social currency and as potential drinking-game fodder.

I am not: too into sharing my own. I hold very few things close to my chest (um, hi, ever read my blog?), and the rare secrets I do keep? Stay mine for a reason.

The Scene: The hallowed archives of Post Secret — possibly the most brilliant, poignant and occasionally hilarious interactive public art project ever conceived. I saw its creator, Frank Warren, give a talk at PWCU my senior year, and was incredibly moved by the presentation. In fact, in that overflowing auditorium of jaded undergrads, there wasn’t a dry friggin’ eye in the room. And ever since, I’ve been resolved to create and send my own secret.

So then why, three years later, is this still an NTKOG? Over the years, I’ve sketched, drafted and collaged dozens of Post Secrets but — I just didn’t want anyone else to know. As a writerly dude, I have to safeguard my emotional bomb-dropping. We don’t get many secrets in this world, and I know that if I just bide my time with mine, they’ll find the right way to come out in my fiction. And then there are the secrets that will probably never find their way out. But — but those are just too awful for human consumption, right?

Well, card’s on the way. We’ll see.

Anyway, since I’m obviously not going to scan my secret on here (anonymity’s a key aspect of the project!), I thought I’d give y’all a taste of my collage skills with a Post Secret inspired post about a topic I rarely discuss with other humans. As I’ve at least cryptically alluded to on here, for the past five or six years I’ve suffered from violently distressing dreams, bordering on intense hallucination.

I don’t talk about them a lot, ’cause they’re a friggin’ downer, but The Ex has many battle stories of me screaming him awake night after night, or rocking in my chair, half mad from days of wakefulness, fearfully policing myself against sleep. See what I mean? Total effin’ downer.

But here, for your amusement, Post-Secret-esque illustrations of a few of my more common nightmares:

The Verdict: Sharing secrets must be a good thing, right? Or else the internet wouldn’t be anybody’s best friend.

Tagged as: awful secret, dreams, i actually haven't had one in a few days which is a nice release, post secret, secrets, too bad hypnotherapy's so expensive