TKOG Who smiles whether or not the whole world smiles with her

NTKOG #215: The kind of enchantingly buoyant passerby who has a heartfelt smile just for you. Yes, you.

I am,: as are all humans, a finely calibrated emotional instrument. Sardonic, harried, lovelorn, bitter, infinitely melancholic? Yes, yes, a world of yes! In fact, the only thing I can say for sure is that…

I am not: exuberantly happy all the time. Or even a large minority of the time.

The Scene: Everywhere! All the time! Disgustingly non-stop! Dudes and ‘ettes, let us call it another Good Karma Friday, ‘cause for two weeks I have been smiling. at. everyone.

First off, let me just say: it’s no wonder that so many movie stars and media darlings these days have adopted camera-ready scowls (yeah, I’m looking at you, Twilight cast). Showing off a hundred-watt grin twelve hours a day friggin’ hurts. Serious Guatanamo-style dental situation. Like, consult a physician before attempting.

Back in my old life, I was never much of a smiler. A girl may win hearts with a coy grin, but it seemed to me that a wry smirk and jagged comment opened all the doors I wanted (and tightened the lock on a few that I really, really wanted to keep closed). When confronted with a perma-smiler, I would vacillate rapidly between suspicion and pity.

Increasingly over the past ten months, though, I’ve become more of a natural smiler – a fact I firmly attribute to actually starting to like people in general, instead of on a case-by-case basis.

Still, even for me, catching eyes and shooting a smile to every stranger I saw in stores or on the street was a farcically ambitious project. Plus, y’alls know how I like to take occasional measures against appearing criminally insane.

Began the project cautiously on evening in Copley, on a work break from the Boston Public Library. As I walked down the busy thoroughfare, caught eyes with an elderly woman wearing a floral headscarf. Once I had her eye, nodded slightly and flashed her a quick, warm smile. I was expecting her to look away in genial embarrassment – the way I would have ten months ago – but she surprised me: her face briefly illuminated as she returned the smile threefold.

Walking down just that one street, on a single evening, I express-delivered fifty or so smiles to complete strangers. Some of them furrowed their brows or looked away; most just smiled back. Heck, two tourists asked me for directions. One asked where he could get a good banana split nearby. (Um, soulmate?)

The smiling is more intimate when I practice on the narrow sidewalks near my work and home. Walking back to work from the grocery store, smiled quick but bright at a tired looking nurse who leaned against a wall, dragging hard on a cigarette. She looked surprised for a moment before an uncertain smile cracked her face asymmetrically.

“Hi,” she told me. “How are you?” I answered and asked the same. Instead of the usual, “I’m fine, thanks!” she told me she was worried about her sister, who was undergoing a series of worrying diagnoses for a violent mystery disease. She talked the cigarette down to just a butt then, after stubbing it, looking back up, embarrassed.

“I don’t know why I told you all that. I’m so sorry! I must seem crazy!” No. No. Before, you seemed like sentient street furniture, the way all strangers do. Now you seem … human.

There’s no real logic to who will react well to smile radiation and who will grow hostile or try to take advantage of you. I’ve gotten cursed out, blessed, hit up, hit on, straight-up ignored.

But like I said, most people just smile back.

The Verdict: Do this! Do it do it do it! Just try it out for an hour or so! I’m beyond excited with the results. It’s such a rush of warmth when you manage to connect with another human, if only for half a second. And it’s incredible how many people smile back like they’ve been waiting all day for you to do it. Other people are miracles. It’s easy to forget that, but so worthwhile to remind yourself.

GOOD KARMA FRIDAY! Although the good karma might be canceled out by my making you puke from my goody-goodyness. I promise, I’ll do something despicable next week and capture all the gory details, just to level out your metaphorical blood sugar. ‘til then, though, have a great weekend, guys.

Tagged as: am i the only one who gets self-conscious about smiling at people in wheelchairs lest they think i'm just being patronizing or smugly mock-virtuous? (i just smile anyway because hey it's what's in my , Good Karma Friday, happiness, happy, i caution against smiling if your heart isn't in it though 'cause that shiz looks more like a grimace, it's amazing how far this can go to ease a throbbing headache, often panhandlers just look surprised that i'm making eye contact with them on purpose -- i guess because people usually look at them like they're human garbage which makes me unspeakably sad (not lea, seriously though dude who straight-up reached down my shirt near copley -- you're an awful person, smiling, try this at home, trying to be a better person