Comments on: TKOG Who’s going to be nice to you whether you like it or not

By: Muscles

Muscles — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 21:58:51 +0000

My friend once made me ask a homeless person outside a grocery store whether she would like a sandwich, and we proceeded to by her one and give it to her on the way out. I reckon grocery stores and restaurants are probably where the smart homeless people hang – the ones who actually want food and not just change for various other endeavors. I guess there are ways to pick who you give to – just like with real charities.

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:19:02 +0000

Aw, Mumsy, thank you so much. And worry not — you in no way made me feel guilty! I think the more I learn about social conditions, the more hopeless I just feel in the face of them. But I completely appreciate that information about alcoholism! It helped me appreciate the situation in a way I never would have considered before.

By: Mumsy

Mumsy — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 18:12:02 +0000

Gosh, I did not mean to generate guilt! That was a genuinely kind and sincere thing you did and you are so right about seeing people as individuals and respecting the dignity of even a jerky individual. It’s just, the thing about alcoholism is something that not everyone knows, and it puts a different slant on the behavior. The prevalence of mental illness among the homeless is also a giant problem, as your mom says. And it seems to me that you do something that a lot of people cannot do: you use your funny, clever blog to open minds. A+ for you!

By: Mom

Mom — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 23:52:38 +0000

Dear, you do help people every work day and have more contact with the homeless than most of us could tolerate. Many homeless people have mental conditions. From the stories being told it would appear that contributing directly to the shelters is the way to go.

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 22:00:53 +0000

I had no idea! In a thousand years, that never would have occurred to me. It’s yet another reason that, really, the best thing you can do when someone asks for money is to stop and ask what food you can buy them. Ugh, I just — man, I wish I were a better person or had more resources or had the strength and self-discipline to devote myself to helping people full-time instead of just when it’s convenient or seems doable to my cluttered priorities.

By: Mumsy

Mumsy — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:50:29 +0000

Many homeless people are also alcoholics. And it’s sad but true: when you’re well down the alcoholism road, food is unappetizing, poorly absorbed, and begins to seem sort of unnecessary, unless it is something that really tempts your appetite. Malnutrition is a serious problem for chronic alcoholics.

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 21:35:15 +0000

Absolutely true, and something I did think about. But I figured, hey, I had the bagel in my bag and it could either get eaten by a trash can or a human being, so trying to give it away seemed like the right choice. I think you’re right, though, it’s so easy for us to think: dude, “those people” should be happy with whatever we give them. Which is obviously neither true nor fair. Being able to exhibit a little free will is one of the most important parts of the human condition.

That said, denying food of any sort after making the statement, “I haven’t eaten anything in three days. I’m literally starving” is just a little bit bold…

By: Mom

Mom — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 20:32:59 +0000

Dear, I was talking with a friend this weekend who explained that Portland has a HUGE drug problem (heroin and meth). Meth ruins teeth. BCD (birth certificate dad) and I were in Needles, CA a few weeks ago and there was the most hideous billboard of a person who looked like Carrot Top with no teeth saying “No need for lipstick anymore!” So true.

By: Amy

Amy — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 20:02:41 +0000

Homeless people can be a pain, but what this post reminds me of is that, aside from the obvious (house, etc), what they really lack is choice. I wonder how many of them had no real problem with bagels, but really just wanted to be able to order a meal of their own choosing?

By: That Kind of Girl

That Kind of Girl — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 17:37:38 +0000

Oh my gosh, what a fantastic story, and what a great reminder about how we can be most helpful to people we don’t really have much idea about how to help. One of my friends who is — in addition to being literally the most wonderful person I’ve ever met — one of those pre-med types once told me that she saves Powerbars to give to people who need food, because even if they don’t have teeth, they can at least suck on the bars for nutrition. But now I’m thinking about the sugar in the bars and whether that would exacerbate any existing dental situations.

I’m feeling inspired by both your and kk’s comments to do a little research about good resources around the city (or at least around the BPL, where I tend to have most of my interactions) so I can either give people a little index card of information or at least tell them about a few places, depending on their needs.

Also, can I say? I never fail to be amazed and warmed by how truly wonderful my readers are. God you guys are awesome.