My apologies, but two posts today to keep us on schedule. For more correspondence-related thoughts, though, please do read today’s post proposing a communal PO Box for writing to inmates.
NTKOG #228: The kind of honestly-trying baby do-gooder who, having put her money where her mouth is, spends a little time for good measure.
I am: trying to do the right thing more often than not, but my attempts are often thwarted by my myriad personal failings. Laziness being chief among them.
I am not: even remotely happy about this.
The Scene: My imaginary Austen-style writing desk, on the heels of my week of sending birthday cards to various prisons. And if you, like I, are imagining one of those old-fashioned roll-top desk numbers with fancy scrolling and various cubbyholes, then may I let it be said: no cubbyhole was bursting more than the one filled with neglected correspondence from one source.
Save The Children.
After an inspiring encounter a few months ago, I started making monthly donations to this excellent charity. And while I’m always pleased to see my meager donation taken out of my monthly bank statement, I’ll admit, I’ve been an absolute beast about opening their correspondence.
Dudes send a lot of letters!
A few months ago, when I finally slashed open the dozens of envelopes they’d sent, it became apparent that they wanted more than my money. They wanted my time. Specifically, they had matched me to a specific donor recipient — an adorable fourth-grade boy in New Mexico — and wanted to make sure I was an active participant in their donor writing campaign.
Just think! they told me, With a letter or two a month, you could form a lasting, life-long relationship with a child who would truly appreciate it! A great idea. I’d get right on it. Tomorrow.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow.
After two months, I’d still written nary a word to the little dude, and my normal routine would be to think, “Welp, I’m just an awful person” and recycle the whole reproachful pile of papers. Because after so many months, there were many great excuses not to continue.
Obviously the kid was doing just fine without me. How useful can I be to someone who doesn’t talk about Nabokov or Shakespeare? If I were a kid, I wouldn’t want the burden of writing to an aimless twenty-something. Since I’e waited so long, it would be awkward and maybe even offensive to start now.
But frig excuses and frig habitual self-loathing. Picked up one of the last few sheets of my extra-luxe resume paper and, in my best hand-writing, wrote a one-page note asking him about the desert and his favorite subjects in school, describing my first time seeing snow in Boston, telling him I hoped we could enjoy our future correspondence. Tucked in two sheets of stickers (jungle animals and anthropomorphized fruits & veggies) and, in twenty minutes, dispelled two months of guilt.
The Verdict: Isn’t it funny how simple and non-intimidating the things we fear are, once we actually get them done? And, in related news, I really need to invest in some sort of functional mail-sorter so I can stop inviting at least some of these endless excuses to my TKOG-is-an-awful-person party.\
Updates if and when I hear back from the little dude, though! Slash hopefully pictures of an adorably decorated envelope!
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
Wonderful – I hope he writes back!
This reminds me that once I wanted to enroll in a website, to write to hospitalized kids… but I never had the guts. It may be time I rethink about it seriously!
DO IT! That sounds awesome!
Good for you! My parents sponsored a child for YEARS, I used to pretend she was my big sister in India and one day I’d go visit and take me for a ride on an elephant. (Apparently I was a vaguely racist child.)
I sponosored a little girl for WorldVision, I even had her picture up on my mirror in my bathroom. But when money got tight, I had to cancel the committment. Say what you want about CSR’s, but this poor lady was the nicest thing in the world as she sat there and listened to my blubbering a** as I tried to explain that I felt REALLY bad about being poor. She was so sweet as she promised me that someone else would take her so I wasn’t abandoning her…
I still feel guilty. About that and that I had to end my committment with Big Brothers Big Sisters too, a couple years later. And when I got married and got busy, I stoppped making cards for brain tumor patient at Send Love Today. And I still haven’t finished those pillowcase dresses for Little Dresses for Africa.
I’m so going to hell.
Dude. You’re graduating Being An Awesome Person magna cum friggin’ laude. Just reading this comment was like getting a hug from the universe. No guilt. You’re inspiring.
AWW! Thank you! You’re so sweet, I wanna put you in my tea!** It makes me feel better about my lack of charitiable committment.
And whatever, you’re writing to children AND prisoners. PLUS being nice to homeless people and giving out compliments and smiles on a regular basis.
You’re a friggin’ ray of sarcastic sunshine, with martini in hand! Now THAT, I find inspiring.
**In the spirit of full disclosure, I stole that from my 82 year old, Southern Baptist 4’11” grandmother-in-law who still shoots at armadillos off her front porch, even though she lives in the suburbs. You’d love her…
like the Shakespeare reference, Teak.
I’m calling you Teak now.
that’s such an awesome step to take. i’m trying to be that person who’s more interested in giving time than money. i’m thinking about getting involved with iraq and afghanistan veterans of america. i mean, these guys and girls are my age and younger, and they’re coming back from war into a weird, weird world. maybe after the bar’s all the way over.
TKOG (and fellow readers), have you heard of In2Books? You get paired up with an elementary-school kid, read a few children’s books, and write to each other through the org’s website. I did it this past school year and my pen pal Mya was pretty funny, and we read a couple interesting biographies (Ben Franklin and “Aunt” Clara Brown) and a novel. Since you like young adult fiction, this could be right up your alley. If you have time between writing prisoners and kids in New Mexico, of course. :)
http://in2books.com
What a great program! You’re right — that’s exactly up my alley! I’m going to look into it!
Oh man yeah I sponsor a little girl in India and I am ashamed to say, I’ve only written her ONCE.
She writes me all the time too. I’m terrible.
I think I’ll write her a letter now.
Thanks :)
I just found your blog (Hi!) but I’m eager to find out of he’s responded and what he says.