What Kind of Things I'll Do

Brainstorming, for my own reference, some potential NTKOGs. You guys, these are so things I just wouldn’t do.

• Ask for a discount in a store for no reason better than sheer ballsiness;
• Vegan raw-food diet for a day (or a few);
• Place a phone call from a public restroom;
• Dye my (virgin) hair an insane color;
• Try sushi for the first time (gag);
• Eat dinner alone in a fancy restaurant;
• Throw a temper tantrum in a store or other public area;
• Spend a day extremely over-dressed while engaging in mundane activities;
• Get a Brazilian (eek!);
• Build a piece of friggin’ furniture (Ikea need not apply);
• Flirt with a much older man;
• Invest in some pay-it-forward style good karma by paying for the items of the person behind me in line;
• Ask a stranger out, totally out of the blue;
• Hitchhike?! (more hitch; less hike);
• Hug an absolute stranger upon being introduced;
• Order a dumb, disgusting shot with a juvenile name;
• Ask someone I don’t know well way too many personal questions;
• Go an entire weekend without spending any money;
• Cook some insanely complicated dish I’ve never tasted before;
• Go a full day without lying — not even for sport;
• Give up my seat to someone on the T;
• Finally make good on my threat of performing stand-up in public;
• Hit on a homeless dude;
• Join Mensa;
• Be the only sober person in my group o’ drinking buddies;
• Awkwardly take someone up on an insincere “we should hang out” invitation;
• Wear a way too revealing outfit. Like, in public;
• Make other people feel bad by waxing on about an ethical stance;
• Try my hand at stalking (which Twitter makes really almost too easy);
• Spit in the drink of some bastard who has it coming;
• Think before I speak — think every. single. time.;
• Call someone I don’t know well out for being rude to me;
• Pay an impromptu visit to someone;
• Spend an entire day working without any leisure;
• Refuse someone’s request for a reasonable favor;
• Tell a stranger they have something in their teeth;
• Actually get into a debate with someone;
• Live a day on just natural lighting;
• Write a thank-you letter to someone I haven’t spoken to in a decade;
• Sit awkwardly close to someone on the T when there are other seats available;
• Go a day without thinking any negative thoughts;
• Go a day without cursing (ha!);
• Listen to music for 24 straight hours (at as much as socially acceptable);
• Call a company to give a compliment;
• Submit a story to a journal way out of my league (the New Yorker, anyone?);
• Fake cry my way out of something (or cry trying);
• Be a total name-dropper;
• “Don’t get on the plane;”
• Tell a stranger, with no context, that I think they’re attractive;
• Introduce myself to a neighbor;
• Give myself a pep-talk;
• Get thrown out of a bar.

Do these things sound … mundane? Well, that’s life, champ.

Have better suggestions? Leave them here or email them to me at notthatkindofgirlblog@gmail.com